Reality check: the bachelor’s a douche and Idol’s a train wreck
I have a love/hate relationship with reality television. My personal favorite reality show of all time would have to be the very first season of The Real World. It really felt real. There had never been a show like it. It was a new and raw concept and it was full of people who had never seen reality TV before. That alone set these seven strangers picked to live in a loft apart from the hundreds of cast members to follow. And if nothing else, Eric Nies was so much fun to look at… vacant and narcissistic, but fun.
Today is a new day. A day with douchey bachelors who propose to girls on national television only to break up with them on national television just weeks later. Whether you’re under contract or not, it’s a classless thing to do to someone. Even former bachelors and bachelorettes are bashing him. If you’re not familiar with the show but would like a recap, you’re not getting it from me. I’m over this guy. However, Kristen Baldwin of Entertainment Weekly puts it perfectly here.
The show I would like to talk about is American Idol. It’s a full on train wreck. The performers, for the most part, are maniacal and untalented. The judges are on drugs (just admit it, Paula) and Seacrest is a midget with a grin so irritating I sometimes fantasize about stapling his lips together.
Here are a few contestants that stand out to me, good and bad…
Danny Gokey — This guy can sing. He looks like Robert Downey Jr. , and his story is incredible. Four weeks before he auditioned, he lost his wife to a heart condition. I personally believe he should skip the show and go straight to a recording contract with Clive.
Tatiana Nicole Del Toro — She makes me literally want to tear the skin off my body. I would rather chew on broken glass than be subjected to another minute of this girl. With that said, sometimes her singing doesn’t suck.
Lil Rounds — This girl can flat out sing. She’s sweet enough but needs to do something big if she’s going to stick around. When she made it through to the final 12, Paula said, “I have a sneaking suspicion we’re going to see you in many more Lil Rounds.” Good one Paula. That was quite the zinger. Seriously, do people really believe she’s not on heavy narcotics? Really?
Scott MacIntyre — The blind dude. Quick, everybody make a big deal about the fact that the guy is blind. Who cares? He can sing and when he’s in front of the piano, he really does stand out. Seacrest, with that infinite wisdom of his, tried to high five the guy during the audition rounds. What an imbecile.
The last person I’d like to write about — but find no reason to since America eff’d it up and didn’t vote her through — is Felicia Barton — way to drop the ball, Idol watchers. Felicia had one of the best performances of the night, hands down.
And so begins the next few months of Idol, riddled with highs and lows… and I do mean Paula Abdul’s serotonin level.
Check in next week for another edition of Reality Check with Jaclyn Roth.
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You mean American Karaoke (AK)?!?!?! Don’t get me started. Let’s start off with the fact that they all become “flavor of the month” until the next season of AK in which case they’ve almost fallen off the face of the earth. Secondly, the “fans” of AK should be called what they are…….sheep. They allow the networks to determine what’s “good” and what they should like. Then, these Karaokers come on TV and are like, “I want to thank my millions of fans who love me!” YOUR FANS?!?!?!?! They’ve only heard of you for thirteen WEEKS, and they’re YOUR LOYAL FANS?!?!?!?! Talk to me when you’ve been around for over TWENTY-FIVE YEARS like Slayer, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Manowar who don’t have to be on “reality TV” to become relevant again.
This is a hilarious… I never watch these shows and always feel a bit out of the loop when groups of people start going at it over who is the latest moron or who should be kicked off what show… Now at least I will be able to fake it a little.
Unfortunately, I believe Scott “the blind guy” MacIntyre got through because… well, he’s blind. There were way better singers in the group. The true give-away was when Simon praised the guy… no mention of sour notes at all? Another ratings ploy obviously… but too bad its at the expense of someone with a disability. That being said, give the guy his piano back for f*cks sake!
Paula Abdul is a fine example of an American entertainer. Haven’t you ever seen the video for “Cold-Hearted Snake”? How dare you slam her for being on drugs! The real problem is just her inability to handle them.
I prefer the “Rush” video with Keanu Reeves.
The best song I have ever heard that properly describes how I feel about those AK-Lovin’-SlimShady-Wannabe-PopTart sheep is Edguy’s “King of Fools.” I especially like the second full verse.
http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/edguy_lyrics_2100/hellfire_club_lyrics_5534/king_of_fools_lyrics_65536.html
Clearly I am late to this party, but maybe you can explain the Megan Joy girl- super cute, but she sucks. Why don’t they ever pan her? What is she paying them?
That wiggly dance that she does makes me want to pin cushion her to a wall. She’s awful. I think they want her to be better than she is because she’s pretty. It’s pretty sad.
Me too- what is she doing? She can’t even wiggle to the beat! I wanted to like her- really, I did. I had some of the best experiences of my life in Park City, Utah. She is from Utah, and I thought i would try to like her just for that. She never lives up to the hype, though, never. Now it just pisses me off.
I completely agree. For me, it was the fact that she had her whole sleeve tattoo’d – that made her way cooler than the usual contestant – she seemed to have an edge. Then she danced and she mutilated that edge.
V, I don’t know how you can even watch a minute of Idol without experiencing, I don’t know, rage, frustration, something, knowing how much better you are than nearly all of them every year.
She’s a musician – inherently glutton for punishment.