Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingeducation

Top ten signs you picked a bad college

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10. The photo on the cover of the college catalogue was once Tweeted by Anthony Weiner

9. The school sells degrees on the Internet for $49.95 (plus shipping and handling)

8. The only books in the library are by James Patterson

7. Your admissions test was drawing a pirate and a turtle

6. ABC’s “The Lookout” has cameras all over campus

5. The football coach is Jerry Sandusky’s brother

4. Your grade is based on tipping the professor

3. The school mascot is Sammy the Slug

2. The much-ballyhooed “sports complex” is actually just a tire swing and some croquet hoops

1. Last year’s commencement speaker was Honey Boo Boo’s mother

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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