Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingreligion & philosophy

Top ten ways Pope Benedict XVI is spending his retirement

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10. Watching Celebrity Bingo and Taxicab Confessions

9. Standing in a phone booth and pretending he’s still in the Popemobile

8. Resisting the temptation to write a tell-all book

7. Having second thoughts about this whole ‘celibacy’ thing

6. Sweatin’ to the oldies

5. Spending more time with the wife and kids

4. Going to nightclubs and throwing holy water on demon girls with short skirts

3. Swooning over Justin Bieber

2. Sorting his hats by height

1. Trying to buy things online, to see if he still has PayPal Infallibility


Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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