10. You mentally divide your summer into two parts: pre and post weed wacker incident

9. You’re Tom Cruise

8. The B&B you’re staying at evidently stands for ‘bed’ and ‘bugs’

7. What everyone else thinks is a sunburn is actually a rash

6. The cruise director shows you to your bench and oar

5. That giant mouse you saw wasn’t at Disneyland

4. You have to crawl under barbed wire to get to the beach

3. All the resort staff members are wearing yellow biohazard suits

2. The only summer job you could find was as Chris Christie’s lotion boy

1. Your eyebrows haven’t grown back since the Fourth of July
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts)

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• Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview - April 2, 2018

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