Top ten things I miss about Rick Santorum

Top ten things I miss about Rick Santorum

Posted on May 7th, 2012 by Bob Sullivan

10. His last name, which is so much fun to Google

9. His views on reproductive rights and pornography, making him unappealing to both women and men

8. The fact that he has evidently fantasized about man-on-dog action

7. Lines like “You are black by the color of your skin. You are not homosexual, necessarily, by the color of your skin”

6. The innocent deer-in-the-headlights look in his eyes whenever he talks about Evolution or Global Warming

5. His being one of the greatest thinkers of the Eighteenth Century

4. His holier-than-thou smirky little fuckface

3. My having invested all my discretionary funds in a company that makes sweater vests

2. The fact that, while Romney may be batshit crazy, Santorum leaves him in the dust

1. How he’s just so gay!

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Author Bio
Latest Posts

Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.