Even though it’s summer, top ten signs your home <i>still</i> needs a spring cleaning

Even though it’s summer, top ten signs your home still needs a spring cleaning

Posted on June 28th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan

10. You have a mirror strategically placed on the ceiling so you can watch television over the pile of junk between the couch and the t.v.

9. Your bathroom has hot and cold running roaches

8. Is cheese supposed to make noise?

7. Your Christmas tree is still up – from the Reagan Years

6. You’ve given your dust bunnies names

5. After photos of your home were posted online, you started getting Care packages from Haiti

4. When you open the fridge door, the light makes all the food suddenly stop moving

3. You’ve taken up sculpting, building your sculptures from lint and dust

2. BP Oil executives have officially declared your kitchen/bathroom area ‘unsalvageable’

1. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses won’t come inside

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.