Top ten Republican National Committee excuses for blowing $2,000 in campaign contributions at Voyeur West Hollywood

Top ten Republican National Committee excuses for blowing $2,000 in campaign contributions at Voyeur West Hollywood

Posted on April 5th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan

10. “Ever since Sarah Palin started wearing leather motorcycle jackets and leather skirts, we’re really into S&M.”

9. “We didn’t think we’d get caught.”

8. “Rush Limbaugh told us a guy there could score us some Oxycontin.”

7. “We thought we’d create our own ‘Self-Stimulus Package’.”

6. “We’re just a bunch of rich arrogant jerks, big deal!”

5. “We were only trying to prevent unnecessary layoffs in the Stripper Industry.”

4. “We took a real spanking in 2008, and got to like it.”

3. “Why should Democrats have all the fun?”

2. “We thought the club’s lesbian role play might help us with any ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ legislation.”

1. “Ever since Republican Senator Larry Craig got busted for lewd conduct in an airport’s men’s room, the GOP has been desperately trying to re-establish its ‘hetero cred’.”

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Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.