Top ten things overheard at last night’s Academy Awards
10. “I hear Frank Langella used the same makeup for Nixon that he used for Dracula.”
9. “I love Price, but I never much cared for Waterhouse.”
8. “I’m sorry, but those seats are reserved for the two people who actually saw Frost/Nixon.”
7. “Michael Moore? I’m sorry, Mr. Moore, but you’re not allowed to bring any food into the auditorium.”
6. “They gotta be fixed; I mean, Beverly Hills Chihuahua deserved something!”
5. “Did anybody find out why Heath Ledger’s a no-show?”
4. “I’d like to thank the Academy. And for those of you who think it’s an honor just to be nominated: What a bunch of losers!!!!”
3. “Now that Wolverine has hosted the show, can Cyclops and Storm be far behind?”
2. “I love that new ‘anatomically correct’ Oscar; it’s so much easier to carry!”
1. “I hear they’ve already started torturing that kid from Slumdog Millionaire to find out how it won.”
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I don’t think Letterman would try to get away with #5.