Top ten more dog one-liners
10. I know my dog thinks he’s man’s best friend, because he keeps trying to borrow money from me.
9. I can’t figure out why my dog races to the door whenever the doorbell rings, because I can’t remember that last time it was actually for him.
8. My new exercise regime is basically retrieving things I’m trying to teach my puppy to fetch.
7. If a police dog is chasing you, try not to dive into a tunnel, then walk the length of a seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire, because they’re trained for that.
6. The one thing my dog and I have in common is that we never want me to go to work.
5. I poured spot remover on my dog, and now he’s gone.
4. I just bought this new product that’s a combination toilet bowl cleaner and dog breath freshener.
3. If you’re longing for the pitter-patter of little feet, get a dog, because they’re cheaper and you get more feet.
2. My dog is half pitbull, half golden retriever, so he’ll bite someone’s arm off and then run for help.
1. Sometimes I get the feeling that dogs are just using us for our thumbs.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
