10. Players unsettled by Brett Favre constantly sexting them
9. Under the mistaken impression there was going to be a fifth quarter
8. Players constantly getting creeped out by their weird-looking mascot, Steely McBeam
7. Never recovered from the disappointment of Christina Aguilera singing “The National Anthem” instead of “Genie in a Bottle”
6. Going in, they didn’t realize it was a contact sport with lots of pushing and shoving
5. Players crestfallen they weren’t up against the Chicago Bears; they really wanted to meet Obama
4. With no cheerleaders, team was unsure whether or not they should “Push ’em back, shove ’em back, way back!”
3. Players were so excited about seeing The Black Eyed Peas, they completely lost their focus
2. Thought, with six games to go, there was still plenty of time to win the series
1. Players creeped out by Rex Ryan constantly texting them asking if they want to play footsie
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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