10. He doesn’t chase cats so much as amble in their general direction
9. Instead of “Lassie” you’ve decided to call her “Assy”
8. Whenever he plays dead, he can’t get up again
7. He has to eat Lipitor-enhanced Friskies
6. His chew toy is a 12-pound ham
5. You finally realized he isn’t barking “Ruff Ruff Ruff” but “Stuffed Crust Pizza”
4. He spends half his time stuck in the doggie door
3. He answers to the name “Chris Christie”
2. Instead of a GPS chip, you just use Google Earth
1. In the evening, you don’t take your dog for a walk; you take him for a roll
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
- Author Bio [1]
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Bob Sullivan [3]
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018