Secret Daughter should really get 2 reviews.

There is a part of me that really enjoyed this book. It’s well-written, it paints very vivid pictures of India, and you are definitely drawn into the story and the characters. You are honestly worried for Kavita’s future. It’s easy to get caught up in Somer and Krishnan’s romance. You want Somer and her daughter to really form a bond. You can sense the clear and immediate dangers in the slums of Mumbai, and picture the lovely, well-decorated apartment, staffed with servants and scented with wonderful, spicy food. Gowda is wonderfully descriptive. That’s one face of the book.

The second face of the book nagged at me, irritated me to no end. It starts with the diagnosis from Somer’s doctor:

“By the time she reaches the age of thirty-two, she will no longer have the ability to bear children, the one thing that defines her as a woman. What will I be then?“

What?!? The only thing that makes her a woman is her ability to have babies? [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, Lisa Reads by Lisa Hura
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I’ve been going back in time. As I have said before, I’m a real believer in the potential of pop music, though I’m a lover of modern orchestral music and classical. I think pop is the music with the most creative potential, even if it is the area in which the least creative potential is realized, as things stand. Anyway, I have been going back in time to check out the the particular tunes of the pop greats that we don’t usually hear.

My latest purchase is Elton John’s Tumbleweed Connection. (It’s really, really good. But this isn’t a music review. I hate music reviews.) [Read more →]

Tags: artistic unknowns by Chris Matarazzo, music by Chris Matarazzo
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Recently, I watched a DVD of Julie Taymor’s film version of The Tempest, in which Prospero is renamed Prospera and is played by Helen Mirren. I rather liked it. The Tempest is my favorite Shakespeare play, and I am always moved to tears by those great lines toward the end: [Read more →]

Tags: that's what he said, by Frank Wilson by Frank Wilson
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I was going to start this week’s column by saying that I have as much testosterone as the next guy, but that may not be true. I probably have an average amount, which means that roughly half the population of men has a higher reading than I do, if someone were measuring. Today, my wife and I went to see Miss Saigon, a musical that I have seen before and for which I have a great fondness. Now there are some that would say that the previous sentence proves that any reading of my manliness that showed a level above minimal was invalid, but that’s a discussion for another time. I bring this up because sitting behind me was a gentleman, a term I use loosely, that not only did not understand that the Walnut Street Theatre in Philadelphia was not his own living room, but that also took offense to my request, made quite respectfully, I might add, that he please be quiet. [Read more →]

Tags: bad sports, good sports by Alan Spoll
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When I heard that Tom Petty wanted Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann to stop using one of his songs at campaign rallies, my first thought was, “Didn’t former Democrat presidential nominee and all-around sleazy guy John Edwards use a Tom Petty song at his campaign rallies?”

Yes, he did.

Edwards speeches were filled with references to fighting corporations and American revolutionaries, often urging his listeners to rise up against special interests. Through 2007 and 2008, Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” could be heard in a repertoire of Edwards campaign songs that fit his themes and underlined his message. In gearing up for the New Hampshire primary in August 2007, for example, Edwards spoke in the town of Hookset. After the event, the campaign played “I Won’t Back Down” as Edwards shook hands of supporters on the way to boarding his “Fighting for One America” campaign bus.

If you follow the link above, you will also see that Petty actually performed the song “I Won’t Back Down” for Al Gore and his supporters, after Mr. Gore “backed down” from the 2000 presidential race. It was also used by former New York attorney general Eliot Spitzer, who has now fallen so low that he hosts a nightly program on CNN.

Anyway, having thus refreshed my memory, a second question naturally came to mind: “Why would TEA Party stalwart Michele Bachmann want to associate herself with Al Gore, Eliot Spitzer, and John Edwards in the minds of voters?” I tell you honestly, I will not vote for anyone who is in any way, even remotely associated with those people. In fact, I will not associate with anyone who has voted for any of those people, or who would even consider voting for any of those people. I would not associate with anyone who would even think of those people. If I could, I would stop associating with myself, because I actually thought about those people. Why can’t I go into a fugue state or something? I think it would be beneficial in a lot of ways. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, politics & government by Ricky Sprague
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10. “I knew it was a bad idea to leave the fireworks in the trunk on a day this hot!”

9. “That’s not mayonnaise; you’re standing under a tree.”

8. “I think Grandma lost her dentures in the coleslaw again.”

7. “I told Phil a thousand times: either lose some weight or don’t stand directly over the septic tank.”

6. “Weird Uncle Frank wants to play his DVD that certainly sounds patriotic; it’s called The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!”

5. “Why does my hot dog have an engagement ring on it?”

4. “Which is the burger and which is the charcoal?”

3. “I hope nobody minds, but today’s barbecue is completely vegan.”

2. “To give it that little something extra, I put lighter fluid in the punch.”

1. “It’s deer meat! Couldn’t have been in the road more than a day or two.”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, ends & odd, recipes & food by Bob Sullivan
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It’s 4th of July weekend and I have already seen and heard a fair share of patriotic television production. In the intellectual osmosis that is channel changing, I somehow subconsciously absorbed the Marine Hymn. I found myself humming it throughout most of the day. I don’t know the words really, but I do know the first two verses.

“From the Halls of Montezuma,”
“To the shores of Tripoli.”

I never though much about the words – or the song really – but the reference to Tripoli got me thinking that, just like 200 years ago in the Barbary Wars, we are in a fight in North Africa. This time the only pirate is Muammar Gaddafi, and as of this past week he is figuratively on the lam. [Read more →]

Tags: terror & war by Robert O'Hara
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(From wire reports)

RIVERTON, NJ–Annoyed authorities have confirmed that a NJ family, in defiance of modern rules of common sense and maybe some real rules as well, took their three children on a driving vacation of 2,137 miles without an in-car DVD player or TV. [Read more →]

Tags: technology, virtual children by Scott Warnock by Scott Warnock
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I had such high hopes for this book.

It’s a good premise: a bitter white supremacist working with a Muslim sleeper cell to launch a bioterror attack on US soil. A CDC agent with a spotty past and one last chance to prove himself. A mysterious operative known only as Mr. Smith. It’s the backbone of a good book or action movie, but White Sleeper by David R. Fett and Stephen Langford never lives up to the promise. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, Lisa Reads by Lisa Hura
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Recent and blatant toying with the time stream has spun off other reality-bending side effects. These are revealed in phenomena that are reaching out far beyond the control of the Department of Corrections threatening to crush our world under the weight of replicating paradoxes. Paradox Poisoning, like most infectious diseases, strikes the very young, very old and those with pre-existing enfeeblements the hardest so, as always, it is wise to pay close attention to Chris Matthews as you would a canary in a coal mine. It is well for our own safety that we do not have to get too close. Modern crowd-sourcing techniques, like those arrayed against the tundra monster Palin allow us to keep a safe distance, crucial, as when the collapse comes the vortex will first whirl out of Matthews well-snugged cravat, engorged on his voluminous but empty melon. The latest evidence is a nationally transmitted spasm of erupting nonsequiturs and self-contradictions that seemed to indicate the Big Crunch was underway but Matthews survived this crisis, clearly due to a diet rich in riboflavin and gin. I provide the link for documentary reasons but no need to endanger your own existence as we will examine this specimen through the safe filter of text. [Read more →]

Tags: politics & government, terror & war by Ken Watson
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Last month, a writer at Moviefone unleashed upon the internet a definitive list of the top 25 comic book movies. The piece candidly acknowledges the difficulties in undertaking such a task:

The trouble with making a Top 25 list is how you judge the entries. Do you do it by box office receipts? Or critical consensus? What about the quality of the script, or how well a movie has aged? We took all of these factors into account while making our list, with one more criteria [sic]: how significant is the movie? Where does it stand in the history of comic book movies? These twenty-five entries are the 25 most significant comic movies, with a few entries you’ll recognize and a few that you should seek out immediately.

Box office receipts, which I assume here is intended to mean the number of tickets sold, is something that can be quantified. Calling his list the “top 25” rather than the “25 best” suggests that he should probably just have gone by the amount of money each film has earned. Of course then you get into the problems of rising ticket prices, DVD and blu-ray sales, rentals, the amount of money the films earn on pay-per-view, pay cable, basic cable, networks, and syndication. That’s pretty complicated, and movie studios are notoriously creative in their accounting practices. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, movies by Ricky Sprague
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The summer is almost in full swing – and likewise, my skin looks like a barely cooked roast beef, and my barbecue grill is sweating from all the use I am giving it. After our trip last week to Lancaster, it was great to get back down to the shore and take a deep breath of salt air and a deep sip of a cold beer. This past weekend, Jack and I – as usual, were “party rocking” at many different locations at the Jersey shore. We played in the waves, rode a rollercoaster, and took a walk through a giant elephant. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, Marty digs by Marty O'Connor
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There is something about sports fandom that makes us feel like kids. After all, childhood is when few things meant more than the results of one game or another. When we become adults, we are expected to focus on more grown-up matters, like jobs and money. In our hearts, though, the true sports fan knows that the games mean more than any of that. That’s why we get so worked up about a bunch of men chasing a ball. I am all for hanging on to that child-like focus, but there are limits. One area about which I struggle to know how I feel is college football recruiting. I follow it and read about it regularly, but I often feel like I should spend a lot less time on it. [Read more →]

Tags: bad sports, good sports by Alan Spoll
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10. The ‘corsage’ he pins to your dress his handmade from Bounty paper towels

9. He takes you to the prom in the basket of his Schwinn

8. Every time he starts dancing, concerned chaperones place a wrapped spoon in his mouth to prevent him from biting his tongue

7. He wants to be home by 9:00 so he can catch the rerun of Fringe

6. He claims he’s suffering from ‘Bieber Fever’

5. He’s wearing a cardboard Burger King crown

4. His tux was ‘borrowed’ from his dad’s funeral home business

3. When he asks you if you want to catch a bite somewhere, he displays his collection of coupons

2. He keeps calling you “Mommy”

1. You’re both wearing the same dress

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: advice, art & entertainment, Bob Sullivan's top ten everything by Bob Sullivan
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Gimme your cash, bitch so we can shoot up da screet!

Gimme your cash, bitch so we can buy some more heat!

Gimme your cash, ho so we can get out da pen!

Gimme some cash, ho cuz we back in again!

As rap songs go, that’s pretty tame by existing standards, as is the video. The artists call themselves Splack Pack, and the hook is a straight sample from their breakout hit Shake That Ass, Bitch from their album, Big Booty Hits. And there is a bit of controversy. So, is it Phyllis Schlafly and Tipper Gore complaining about the exploitation/glorification of gang culture with its violence and misogyny? That would be a no. This infectious jam is actually a political ad aimed at one Janice Hahn running in a presumably safe Democratic district in Los Angeles. [Read more →]

Tags: politics & government, trusted media & news by Ken Watson
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They say two thousand and thirteen party over, oops!

Fucked ourselves!

So for now we oughta party like its two thousand and twelve!

Since licensing and copyrights are as doomed to imminent collapse as the rest of civilization I will appropriate my soundtrack from Prince and he can come collect if he wants. That’s not just me talking, with the collapse stuff. Not anymore. Ben Bernanke publicly declares mystification that his voodoo economics have come a-cropper. Bill Clinton and Al Gore are driven to public denunciations by their disappointments with the President, each of which are cataclysmic one way or the other. The most damning news comes from the Great Man’s own mouth in his brief (for a change) address of last night. Obama arrives to disclaim the actions and events of the last two years excepting only the Abbottobad triumph. You remember that, when the President headbutted Osama and snapped his neck like so much celery? But no fear, he’s now on the job; rested, ready, with a four handicap and prepared to tackle the crapulent legacy that is America. [Read more →]

Tags: money, politics & government by Ken Watson
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What would you do if you caught someone reading your diary? If you caught your spouse snooping in your inner-most thoughts, how angry would you be? In Louise Erdrich’s Shadow Tag, Irene America is a woman in an abusive marriage, who discovers that her husband has been reading her diary. Instead of lashing out, she takes advantage — she starts a secret journal and uses her diary to manipulate her violent husband, Gil. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, Lisa Reads by Lisa Hura
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A half-baked clone of Snagglepuss by the name of Huntsman has announced his enthusiastic intent to join the scrum of  the Republican Primaries. He commandeers the best view of the Statue of Liberty to do so. One would think that schmaltz like this would be in heavy demand, but no. Only twice before has a Presidential candidate made their debut here. One was Pete Wilson, modestly competent Governor of California. The other was Ronald Wilson Reagan. Old Pete hoped to trade on his commonality of office and, hilariously, of name, to ladle some sweet Reaganny goodness over his own head which would be punctuated by the familiar location. This seems to have failed but Huntsman is up to give it another go. [Read more →]

Tags: politics & government, terror & war by Ken Watson
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This past weekend my son Jack was treated to a weekend that he will hopefully remember forever. My parents took us all out to Pennsylvania Dutch country where we spent the day at the amusement park Dutch Wonderland on Saturday, then on Sunday went to “A Day Out With Thomas”. To relate this is my own terms, it was like my cousin’s wedding weekend in Milwaukee where I toured Lakefront Brewery, saw My Morning Jacket at the Riverside Theater, then saw the 2008 Phillies clinch their playoff series against the Brewers. To be honest, it was like a wild bachelor party weekend, but for a three year old. All taking place in beautiful, slow paced, rural Lancaster County – home to the Amish, smorgasbords, and discount shopping outlets. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, Marty digs by Marty O'Connor
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Some unseen and unforeseen harmonic convergence has put the state of Georgia into a prominent position in national politics she has not occupied since the Carter years. The insurgent Cain is a homeboy well known to other crackers. Media conceit that he has “come from nowhere” is somewhat insulting. The Fair Tax is a baroque scheme, probably preferable to our current tax system, that has been a local hobbyhorse for a decade. Only now are Cain and its other champions bringing it to the country at large. Our new immigration laws which are typical of those sweeping through state legislatures have drawn international litigation and news scrutiny. Our media market, a piffle compared to the coastal giants has never the less birthed some prominent voices like Hannity (sorry, America) and the croaking Libertarian Neal Boortz who are now heard and (thankfully, less often) seen on ubiquitous airwaves. But our most famous export has been a clinker. That is a garden gnome cast in the fires of Kennesaw Mountain by what hand we know not. Of course this is that fellow with the Smeagol smile whose mother called Newt. [Read more →]

Tags: politics & government, trusted media & news by Ken Watson
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