Top ten signs gas is expensive
10. It’s so expensive, gas stations now have a concierge service
9. It’s so expensive, oil companies have actually started inspecting their offshore rigs
8. It’s so expensive, SUV now stands for Stationary Unused Vehicle
7. It’s so expensive, drivers are shooting themselves instead of each other
6. It’s so expensive, Oprah’s audience gave their cars back
5. It’s so expensive, if you ask for five dollars worth, the attendant will just fart, and then ask if you want a receipt
4. It’s so expensive, clowns are now cramming themselves onto a bicycle
3. It’s so expensive, a gallon of Starbucks is cheaper
2. It’s so expensive, the Indy 500 is now a foot race
1. It’s so expensive, the Amish are carrying signs that say “We Told You So!”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
alternately entertained, educated and enraged me. I love that authors Jason Turbow and Michael Duca were not afraid to name names. They told some great stories about some of the great rivalries in baseball — not just between teams, but between players. They explain the rules — the unwritten codes that players learn in the dugout and in the clubhouse. Some of these rules are black and white: everybody joins a fight. Some of the rules are so vague that even the players can’t agree on the specifics. But everybody knows there are rules…and there are consequences for breaking them.
