10. The rats have gnawed through your garden hose, making it impossible to hose down the hallway
9. Your living room’s leaf pile dates from three autumns ago
8. The producers of Hoarders thought your place was just a little too much
7. Your heating vents are clogged with Frito crumbs
6. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses won’t come inside
5. The Health Department has you on speed dial
4. When you go in the kitchen, your spouse uses Raid to provide cover fire
3. You have so many dust bunnies, the legs of your bed no longer touch the floor
2. You’ve misplaced two of your children
1. Your refrigerator has a wet hacking cough
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
- Author Bio [1]
- Latest Posts [2]
Bob Sullivan [3]
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018