10. You’re just waking up from your 2009 New Year’s Eve party
9. For Dancing With the Stars, you bet your life’s savings on Michael Bolton
8. Both your cholesterol and your children are way too high
7. When the airport’s full-body scanner tried to scan you, the screen cracked
6. You’re still Bernie Madoff
5. You’ve started a brand new week by reading a lame Top Ten list
4. For Christmas, your wife gave you that new STD iPhone app
3. You’re a Democrat
2. You’re not in the top two percent wealthiest Americans
1. You have a pre-existing condition
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
- Author Bio [1]
- Latest Posts [2]
Bob Sullivan [3]
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018