“Still Vivid In My Mind: The Romantic Ramblings of Julian Assange”
“It is not so hard to thaw. Or to be drawn.
Our intimacy seems like the memory of a strange dream to me. A dream that probably would not translate to the real world, but this was never my desire. There was something unusual about our interaction. It is almost as if I had scripted it and left my fingerprints in the ink. I’m not concerned with your messy reality. I don’t want to see it and I confess I could not place you in mine. But I still want to see you in isolation. I am unconcerned with the context since time and your silence has made me philosophical; but when I first wrote the heat of your breast pressed against me was still vivid in my mind.”
The eloquent and moving romantic sentiment above was “penned” (emailed) by WikiLeaks head Julian Assange, and directed at a young woman who was obviously the object of his affection.
The young woman in question says she found him “strangely alluring.” Indeed. Those of you who are interested in how to woo a young woman can read more of Mr. Assange’s efforts here.
The rest of this post is intended only for the eyes of Julian Assange. If you are not Julian Assange, please stop reading now. Thank you.
Mr. Assange, I know you need money. You have a great deal of legal trouble. To that end, I would like to propose a business opportunity: A CD (or, if you prefer, MP3) of you reading your romantic emails, in that seductive, dulcet voice of yours. People would pay big money to have such honey dripped directly into their ears.
Perhaps we might also intersperse romantic songs between your readings. Might I suggest Chris Rea’s “Fool if you Think it’s Over,” Sarah McLachlan’s “Possession,” and Joan Armatrading’s “Water with the Wine“? You can probably think of some others yourself, being as sophisticated as you are.
I put together a mock-up of what a cover might look like; you can see it at the top of this post. How can you resist this? I’m telling you, it’s pure gold.
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