politics & government

Rich Iott’s Ohio Historical Re-enactment Society Newsletter

Dear fellow living historians,

Another year is fast becoming history — pun intended! — and we have been busier than ever. Before it slips away, let us take a moment to congratulate ourselves on recent successes and take a sneak peek at the exciting new historical events just around the corner.

This past March, we kicked off our season with the fifth annual shelling of Sarajevo.  Living historians took to the hills outside Youngstown to bring to life those early days of the Bosnian War. A harrowing ordeal, of course, but from a military re-enactment perspective a veritable hoot. Clad in the full regalia of the Republika Srpksa and the JNA, historians swigged non-alcoholic slivovitz and rained down empty mortar shells on unsuspecting Youngstowners, teaching them a history lesson they won’t soon forget! The legendary Ron “Swifty” Gibbs of Swifty’s Auto Repair in Akron deserves special kudos for his performance in the role of Serb nationalist leader Radovan Karadsic. He masterfully expressed Karadsic’s proud patriotism and fierce determination in the face of battle(without any ethnic hostility, of course). Way to go, Swifty!!

After a long winter, April’s bombing of Guernica helped bring spring to Ohio. This event, which coincided with the Greater Cincinnati Air Show, turned out to be a real crowd pleaser — a notable contrast to last year’s bombing of Pearl Harbor.  And who could be surprised, with the prowess shown by the living historians of the Cincinnati Condor Legion. As predicted, they utterly demolished the boys of the Louisville Basque Civilian Brigade.  Just like we demolished all those tasty paella wraps Beverly Delmonico served after the bombing. Thanks Bev!!

Summer had us running around with our heads cut off, as usual. Our Days of Summer Armenian Genocide was the educational bloodbath Ohio citizens have come to love, but, as always, a heck of a lot of work. Cease and desist letters from both Armenian advocacy groups and the Turkish government continue to create a lot of red tape, making it difficult for our historians to channel the hearts and minds of our historical subjects. On an even more tragic note, we lost two beloved historians to heatstroke during the massacre. Reginald DeWitt of Canton, aka Turkish bludgeoner #47, and Huey Liddersworth of Dayton, aka Armenian shopkeeper #18, were honorable men and accomplished historians who died fighting for what they believed in. Fallen heroes, we salute you.

As winter approaches, we turn our attention to the frozen tundra of the Eastern Front, 1941. We are still looking for new recruits to join our Einsatzgruppen SS for our December staging of Operation Barbarossa at Uncle Boone’s Turkey Farm, just outside Toledo.  If you know any living historians or aspiring living historians who would like to join our well-trained corps of loyal commandoes as they cruise through Belarus on special missions to fight cultural bolshevism, please email Randy Nesbit (randytnesbit@cheapsuntansrus.com).  Attention: The Ohio Historical Re-enactment Society in no way endorses, for better or worse, the ethos of National Socialism. We are historians who enjoy studying the past by dressing up and pretending to be soldiers from history. We emulate courageous warriors who fought for ideals, however unsavory those ideals may have been, or however they may have been distorted by the liberal media. If you are a looking to join the Einsatzgruppen SS out of belief in the tenets of National Socialism, you are looking in the wrong place. If, however, out of sheer love of history, you would like to dress up and pretend you are a soldier in a mobile killing unit targeting Jews, Gypsies, and members of the Soviet intelligentsia – then welcome aboard, historian!

Speaking of Nazis, which we are not, we just launched a new program. Our community youth outreach program in the living history of the Third Reich educates youngsters about the fascinating (though, admittedly, delicate) institution of the Hitler Jugend — the boy scouts of 1930s Germany! Through our innovative pedagogical commitment to experiencing history first hand, we show students what a care-free Aryan childhood was really like.  First, we demonstrate how they would have been selected for HJ membership through rigorous genealogical blood purity analysis. Not only do the kids learn history-they practice adding fractions! Then, as a learning simulation, we put them through an intensive ideological indoctrination process (minus the anti-Semitism of course!), teaching them the relevant values of self-sacrifice, love of country, and the importance of monitoring family members for signs of cultural bolshevism.  This year’s program will culminate in a gymnastics exhibition and flag ceremony (minus the swastikas of course!) during halftime at the Fremont Cougars homecoming game, November 18th. We encourage all you historians to don your costumes and come fill the rostrum!

Two last announcements:  Susie Orstmeyer is organizing a bake sale and car wash to raise funds to build a full-scale compound in Columbus for next summer’s staging of the Branch Davidian showdown at Waco.  Auditions for the role of David Koresh will be announced in February.  And, finally, just a reiteration of last newsletter’s call for living historians: if anyone knows anybody of brownish hue — Hispanics, blacks, Arabs, or even the right kind of Asian or Jew- Herb Jennings is hoping to reenact the Battle of Algiers in the spring, but is having a heck of a time fielding the Algerian side.

Well, historians, that’s all the news I got. The rest, as they say, is history — pun intended!

Yours sincerely,

Rich Iott,

Living Historian

Candidate for Congress, 9th District Ohio

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One Response to “Rich Iott’s Ohio Historical Re-enactment Society Newsletter”

  1. Peter, I’ll look forward to hearing if this group adds an “air” component to the reenactments. This past weekend, in West Texas, they had a re-enactment of the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima. Maybe our reenactors here, in West Texas, could lend their expertise (and vintage aircraft) to their fellow enthusiasts back-east, up-north.

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