The number-crunchers in Washington, D.C. might want to put down their abaci and direct their attention to the wisdom of Alexei Kudrin.

Mr. Kudrin, Russia’s finance minister, wants his fellow countrymen to chain smoke and drink to excess.

Those were not his words, exactly. But one can read between the lines.

What Mr. Kudrin said was, “If you smoke a pack of cigarettes, that means you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, developing other social services and upholding birth rates,” and, “People should understand: Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state.”

I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about, but I agree with him. Had he asked, I’d have told him to leave it at: “Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state.”

This all has to do with tax revenue, which makes Mr. Kudrin’s comments rather boring.

He should have asked Tatyana Golikova, Russia’s health-care minister (she’s also the “social-development minister,” for whatever it’s worth), to tell the Russian people the truth: that smoking is cool and goes hand-in-hand with drinking.

As many of you know, I smoke the healthy cigarettes, and I don’t mind paying more for them, particularly because I know that I’m “doing more to help the state.”

I’m certainly “doing more to help the state” than the joggers who seem to come out of nowhere whenever I’m reaching for the cigarette lighter in my car.

Anyway, I appreciate Mr. Kudrin’s candor, as I’m sure the Russian people do. Perhaps President Obama, during his prime-time address Tuesday night, should have lit a cigarette, downed a glass of Stolichnaya, and said, “Look folks, wars cost money. Lots of money. And, as you know, we don’t have any. Now, when I said, ‘Yes we can,’ I meant, ‘Yes, we can.'”

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