I don’t know what it is about Midwestern women and McDonald’s. Early this year, I posted about a couple of bizarre incidents involving angry women assaulting workers at their local McDonald’s.  Well, it has happened again. There must be something in the water out there. This Ohio woman was less than pleased that she could not order Chicken McNuggets due to it being breakfast hours. She made her displeasure very clear.

I will be in Ohio this weekend. I think I will skip McDonald’s.

Tags: ends & odd by Alan Spoll
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A little update for you faithful readers: Last week, Bristol Palin called off her engagement redux with Levi Johnston, no doubt because she read my advice and realized that, as always, I was totally right. You’re welcome, Bristol. Now let’s see, on whom shall I direct my magic wand of miracle-working advice this week? Ah, yes: Laurence Fishburne, I choose you! [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, Meg gives advice to famous people by Meg Boyle
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As I’ve noted here before, I believe thrillers are an art form. Thrillers are like jazz to literary fiction’s classical music.

I devoured thrillers when I was a teenager and I still read and love them today.  

So I was very interested in reading Thrillers: 100 Must-Reads (Oceanview), edited by thriller writer David Morrell and critic Hank Wagner.

[Read more →]

Tags: on thrillers and crime by Paul Davis
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Because I’ve already promised my fans (my mother, my toddler upon occasion, etc.) that my next book will be an in-depth study of American writers and their lack of integrity, I felt it was not out of character (or desperation only) to conduct an interview with a gentleman I am most grateful to for bringing my first published novel to print. So in honor of in-house propaganda everywhere—fuck it; Dan is crazy enough to throw some dollars down on my novel, so why not?—I give you an interview with life-long book guy Dan Cafaro. This October, his new imprint Atticus Books will publish its debut title, Fight for Your Long Day, and follow with fiction by Joe Zeppetello and Randall Devallance. What I like most about Dan is his unabashed love of literature; it takes courage to profess open affection for anything in these cynical times, but Dan isn’t one to hide his passion. Despite the demanding schedule of an independent press, he found time to respond to each of my prompts. Yes, at times, in excess, but that’s only because I pay by the word. You’ll learn that Dan Cafaro is a former sports journalist and bookstore owner, well read, bald, and able to add self-deprecatory humor to the mix. Not necessarily in that order. Enjoy.

Alex: You’ve worked in the book trade in many different capacities—store owner, acquisitions editor, writer, and publisher. Could you describe what you’ve enjoyed the most and liked least about your various occupations within the book business?  [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, trusted media & news by Alex Kudera
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Last season, Major League Baseball instituted instant replay, but only for review of homerun calls. On the one hand, if you know anything about baseball umpires, it is an amazing thing that they allowed any amount of questioning of their decision-making to be factored into the game. This is a group that is famous for its arrogance and belligerence. At the same time, it was at least a small measure of progress that a few messed up calls could conceivably be reversed. It seems clear, though, that there is a far greater opportunity for review than just homerun calls. Thursday night’s game between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Florida Marlins demonstrated this very well. [Read more →]

Tags: bad sports, good sports by Alan Spoll
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10. He insists all rescues be pre-approved

9. He spends the entire day chasing seagulls and shouting to see if he can scare the poop out of them

8. Instead of a whistle, he uses a piano

7. Every day he comes to work in full Shrek makeup

6. He’s mad as hell ’cause the CPR dummy keeps refusing his advances

5. He got a life-size tattoo portrait of David Hasselhoff all over his body — and he’s five-two

4. He keeps trying to give himself the kiss of life

3. He enjoys wearing a plasticine fin on his back and panicking tourists

2. He has a steering wheel mounted on his big lifeguard’s chair, and he loves to steer his way through the universe

1. Instead of rubbing sunblock on his nose, he uses vanilla pudding
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, ends & odd, travel & foreign lands by Bob Sullivan
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“Sarah Palin, the smartest woman in America? With all due respect, I must refudiate.”

Refudiate away. Name her countless verbal transgressions, cite her taunting vacuum of legitimate political and legal knowledge, snort at her so-called feminist identity. I won’t deny you. I’m right there with you. Sarah Palin has never struck me as a genius. In fact, I’ve always gotten the impression she’s the type who’s unable to read without moving her lips. [Read more →]

Tags: diatribes, politics & government by Sarah Ameigh
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I put people in boxes. I have been doing it for a long time. The first time I did it, and did it well, was when I was seventeen. I have not spoken to that person in 22 years. Which is mostly what it means to be put in a box by me. I cut off contact entirely. I mean, it’s an imaginary box, but it works as well as a real one for me (perhaps with fewer legal ramifications.) Before you judge too harshly on how I judge, what I should have done to that first person was have him sent to jail.

When you go into one of my boxes, it isn’t just a matter of cutting off contact. [Read more →]

Tags: ends & odd, his & hers by Van McO
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I’ve just discovered that the third-string quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles is named Mike Kafka. It’s a tale that cannot end well. While most NFL players simply have to succeed on the field, Kafka has larger problems. 

Try as Kafka might, he cannot learn what plays the Eagles want him to run — the playbook is kept from him by mysterious authorities; despite his many inquiries he cannot find the stadium — even though he always seems about to arrive, it remains just beyond his reach; he is accused of breaking league rules, but no one will tell him what crime he has committed or how he might defend himself against the unspoken charges; Kafka is tortured by feelings of unworthiness and knows he can never measure up to his father; and despite devoting himself to his family and working himself to exhaustion to provide them with his hefty NFL paycheck, in the moment of his greatest need his own family, even his beloved sister, will wish he were dead and leave him to starve to death as he gives up on life.

(Photo from philadelphiaeagles.com)

Tags: books & writing, sports by Scott Stein
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If you wanted to completely change the face of American politics, what would you do?  If you had nothing left to lose, what risks would you take?  In Steve Martini’s The Rule of Nine, one character decides on a dramatic plan to change the political scene for decades to come.  The Old Weatherman is dying — he has nothing left to lose, a fortune at his disposal, and an idea so crazy that it’s not on anybody’s radar.  The Rule of Nine is a great twisty, exciting, political thriller. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, Lisa Reads by Lisa Hura
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In the last embarrassing installment of the “The Conversation,” the New York Times’ pandering online ‘dialogue’ between columnists David Brooks and Gail Collins, readers overheard David and Gail chatting philosophical on the progress of humanity. Regardless of the deplorable state of American, well, everything, they assured each other in alternating heaves of optimism, at least the present is better than the past.

Not that we should be surprised. David Brooks could find the silver lining of industrial capitalism in a radiation cloud. Nuclear technology, after all, is clear evidence of economic growth and human creativity. No, we shouldn’t be surprised that this country’s supposed intellectuals are finding new ways to dumb down discourse with rancid chestnuts about progress. But we should be disappointed.

[Read more →]

Tags: politics & government, trusted media & news by Peter Mann
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Via dlisted, there is an interview from Vanity Fair in which Lady GaGa confesses that she believes the seat of her creativity can be found in her wondrous loins.

Lady Gaga tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Lisa Robinson that she tries to avoid having sex because she is afraid of depleting her creative energy — “I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.”

Sex is a creative act in itself, if not procreative. It fans the creative spark; it does not deplete it. But how does a man take the creativity of a woman through her vagina? Copulation between a man and a woman involves penetrating the woman’s orifice with his penis. Does Ms. GaGa’s creativity travel into the hole in the tip of the penis, and up into his urethra, from there to his liver and eventually to his brain? [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, his & hers by Ricky Sprague
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Hello, readers. I have never addressed you directly in this column, but I have some wonderful news. My performance therapist, Dr. Guenther Spiegelvogel, is in the United States for a lengthy visit and he has agreed to let me share some of our work on this blog.

As it is said in the Talmud, “A dream left uninterpreted is like a letter left unopened.” For the next few weeks, Spiegelvogel will help me open my psychic mail in this column. Feel free to reply with your own interpretations.  –Fred

Tags: Fred's dreams by Fred Siegel
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Dinner for Schmucks has two main problems. It is not very funny and not very interesting. This is a shame, because there is lots of comic talent languishing in this film. The initial idea has potential, but this film collapses under the weight of the poor screenplay by David Guion and Michael Handelman. Yes, it apparently takes two men to write a bad screenplay. [Read more →]

Tags: Gail sees a movie, movies by Gail D. Rosen
3 Comments »

Birds flying high, you know how she feels. Sun in the sky, you know how she feels. Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how she feels. It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life…and LiLo’s feeling good. That’s right, kids, Lindsay Lohan is a free woman. So now that she knows why the caged bird sings…what’s next? There’s been a lot of speculation on what LiLo’s first move should be, post-prison. Sit on Oprah’s couch? Embark on a spiritual retreat? Take a wild, girlish stab at acting? Nay! The question, dear friends, is not what Lindsay should do; it’s who Lindsay should become. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, Meg gives advice to famous people by Meg Boyle
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Recently, as I sat in a booth at my favorite luncheonette — Mr. G’s at 12th and Callowhill — waiting for my lunch to arrive, I did something I actually don’t do very often: I read the City Paper.

The big piece seemed to be one written by someone named Jeffrey C. Billman suggesting that we get serious about the national debt. One of the sub-heads caught my eye: “Spending cuts are not the answer.”

To be fair, the article itself does say that “spending cuts may be part of the equation.” That still didn’t strike me as being especially serious. After all, one sure way to cut down on debt is to stop spending so much. It’s not just part of the equation; it’s the essential part. [Read more →]

Tags: money, that's what he said, by Frank Wilson by Frank Wilson
21 Comments »

I am often amazed at the regularity with which the world reminds me that many other cultures are not at all like ours. It is easy to believe that those differences make others uncivilized or backward, and much harder to see them as simply different. I am sure there are many people out there who have a greater ability to see the beauty and value in variety than I do. Even those people, though, might have a little bit of trouble understanding what happened with the North Korean national soccer team this week. [Read more →]

Tags: bad sports, good sports by Alan Spoll
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10. “Did you catch Hillary’s lace pantsuit?”

9. “Bill and one of the bridesmaids are missing.”

8. “Look! It’s the Salahis!”

7. “Who’s playing the part of Chelsea?”

6. “This is the closest we could get to a royal wedding?! We never should have left the British Empire!”

5. “Bill and another one of the bridesmaids are missing.”

4. “Reinforce the perimeter! Roger Clinton’s trying to crash the wedding!”

3. “This is even bigger than the Bristol Palin-Levi Johnston wedding!”

2. “Now Bill and all of the bridesmaids are missing.”

1. “Who let that Marc Mezvinsky in here? Oh, he’s the groom?”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, ends & odd, politics & government, trusted media & news by Bob Sullivan
1 Comment »