10. Instead of freakishly large floppy shoes, the funniest shoes the clowns can afford are size 15
9. The ‘fire eater’ is just some guy chomping on extra spicy chili peppers
8. Their ‘clown’ is a transvestite Lady Gaga impersonator
7. The trapeze artiste has a seatbelt
6. The ‘bearded lady’ has a suspicious bulge in the groinal area
5. The supposed ‘baby elephant’ looks suspiciously like a bulldog that’s been ‘altered’
4. The cotton candy is guaranteed 100% cotton
3. Twenty clowns don’t pile out of a teeny weeny car, just one really fat clown
2. When you look closely at the tamer’s lion, there’s a zipper
1. Instead of popcorn, they sell trail mix made from tent sweepings
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
- Author Bio [1]
- Latest Posts [2]
Bob Sullivan [3]
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018