I (heart) werewolves and vampires and the Twilight saga
Dear Diary,
Today I started reading Eclipse. This was after I told myself I was not going to read any of the books in the Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer. I’m a thirty-(cough)-year-old woman, and not a twelve year old girl. I’m too mature to be reading this, right? But I read Twilight and New Moon, and now I’m reading Eclipse. And I really don’t like reading it because it’s taking up my whole day and I can’t get anything done.
Bella is just so stupid. She has two guys in love with her and she isn’t even that smart or pretty. Well, not that they are guys, since one is a werewolf and the other is a vampire. But she is so lucky — she has two guys (werewolf/vampire) in love with her!
I wonder if vampires really exist? If they look like Edward, I hope they do. Jacob is pretty hot though. Maybe someday I’ll meet Jacob in real life and he’ll want to marry me.
Anyway, I can’t stop reading Eclipse and it really sucks because I hate it. And not only does it suck, but I’m also reading it on my iPhone, and I have to squint to read it because the iPhone is like two inches wide. But the good thing about it is that I take Eclipse everywhere with me and read it all the time on my iPhone. I read it while I’m waiting in the supermarket line. I read it while I’m in my car at a stop light. And I read it while my son is playing outside. Today, I was so engrossed in it that I didn’t even see my son fall on the steps and hit his chin. Whoops! However, I was able to read the fifth chapter while sitting in the Emergency Room waiting for him to get stitches. I (heart) my iPhone!
Anyway, this book is terrible. I’m not sure why so many women like this series so much. I don’t think Stephenie Meyer is a good author at all. If I wrote a book, I wouldn’t write something as stupid as vegetarian vampires. That’s just dumb.
If I had to choose to love a vampire or a werewolf, I think I would choose the werewolf. I don’t think I could kiss someone who is as cold as ice. I took a quiz on Facebook (even though Facebook is kind of over, right?) and it said that I was definitely Team Jacob. Edward is pretty hot though. Maybe someday I’ll meet Edward in real life and he’ll want to marry me.
I keep telling myself that I’m not going to read any more of these Twilight books, and then I keep reading. I really don’t want to because Eclipse is just so awful. After I finish the book, I’ll also have to see the movie, which is now in theaters. And that really sucks because it costs like eleven bucks to see a movie these days! I had to see Twilight and New Moon in the theater too. Edward looks pretty hot in the movie, but sometimes he also looks like he needs a bath, so I think I like Jacob more. Jacob has nice abs.
I put a picture of Jacob in a drawer next to my bed, and every morning I say “good morning” to him and every night I say “good night” to him. Actually, I don’t say that out loud because my husband might think it is a little weird, but I say it to myself. Sometimes I like to imagine that I am Bella, and Jacob and the wolf pack are looking out for me while I sleep. Other times I think that a vampire will visit me in the middle of the night and bite me, and I’ll live for eternity, just like Edward. But then I think, that is just silly.
xoxo,
Nancy
P.S. This weekend I’ll be reading Breaking Dawn. I’ll let you know how it is!
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I tried to watch the first Twilight movie on cable a couple of months ago, and I couldn’t get very far because the girl, Bella, seemed distractingly twitchy to me. Like she was in a sort of daze, and whenever anyone said anything to her, she would startle.
Does she startle in the books? Are there a lot of lines like, “And then Edward brooded in her direction, and Bella it caused Bella to startle!”?
If so, maybe I’ll have to read it.
Reading the Twilight books is like navigating an addiction. You don’t want to read them, and you know they aren’t good for you, but you cannot stop reading. It is physically painful to read, but also painful to stop.
The book is full of lines like: “Edward’s golden eyes flashed in anger” and “Edward’s eyes turned black and he growled like thunder” and “The pain of losing Edward was all I had to know it was real”. Hilariously awful and hilariously brilliant all at the same time. I hate it, but I can’t stop reading!