Fatwas just ain’t what they used to be. When one was issued after the publication of Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses, he was in genuine fear for his life (and at least one of his translators was murdered). It was only after years in hiding that Rushdie could gradually reemerge in public life and engage in the simple pleasures that so many of us take for granted, like attending U2 concerts or boning Padma Lakshmi. Now South Park‘s waded into similarly forbidden territory, with an outcome likely less dramatic and even more tragic. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment by Sean Cunningham
1 Comment »

Republican Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina is upset about the introduction of an immigration bill on the Senate floor. Not because the senator — who’s been affectionately called “Grahamnesty” by his admirers — is against immigration reform. No, he’s angry, he says, because introducing the immigration bill will disrupt deliberation of the energy bill he also planned to introduce.

You see, apparently Senate dudes are unable to do two things at once. Unless, of course, one of those things happens to be war making. Or earmarking.

As a compromise, the Senate is considering merging the two pieces of legislation, by applying the cap-and-trade concept to both carbon emissions and illegal immigration. [Read more →]

Tags: politics & government by Colin Cohen
1 Comment »

Injured Cincinnati Reds pitcher Edinson Volquez has been suspended by Major League Baseball for violating the league’s policy on performance enhancing drugs. He claims that the failed test was due to medication he was taking as part of fertility treatments to assist him and his wife with their efforts to start a family. Even if this is true, his actions were incredibly irresponsible. [Read more →]

Tags: bad sports, good sports by Alan Spoll
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10. Lethargy

9. Yugo

8. Kirstie Alley

7. Elmer’s Extra Sticky

6. Cat Napper

5. One Horse of the Apocalypse

4. Tripod

3. My Little Pony

2. Lackadaisical

1. Snowball in Hell
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: animals, art & entertainment, Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, sports by Bob Sullivan
1 Comment »

The politicians in DC are crapping large, corn filled bricks because of the new Arizona immigration bill.  Democrats are dumping other agenda items in an effort to make the GOP look like a bunch of racists. The GOP is attacking the Democrats as just wanting to add another 12 million voters to the rolls of the government-dependent, hopefully replacing many of the votes that the Obama agenda has cost them over the last 15 months.

Both groups need to take a long walk off a short pier.

[Read more →]

Tags: politics & government by Mike McGowan
3 Comments »

The world’s greatest entertainer’s life is in danger. Hanging by a thread in some undisclosed ICU. I’ve noticed that there are no reports of general rioting throughout the United States. I think there is rioting here in Africa but it’s probably unrelated.

Wait. Let me back up. I have often been kidded about my first concert. Air Supply. [Read more →]

Tags: music, television by Jeffrey Maryak
5 Comments »

Much has been made this week of the new immigration law passed in the State of Arizona.

The problem in Arizona is:

The State has responded to the lack of Federal direction on this issue by passing a law that [Read more →]

Tags: politics & government by Mike McGowan
No Comments »

I hereby challenge you, dear reader, to explain in plain language the Securities and Exchange Commission’s allegation against Wall Street firm Goldman Sachs. Prizes will include the respect and admiration of your peers, along with that reassuring feeling of a job well done.

Are you game? Good. There’s a catch, of course.

[Read more →]

Tags: on the law, trusted media & news by Neil Verma
No Comments »

Our country is in a financial crisis. As politicians work hard to enact necessary policies that will benefit us all, the costs of those policies continues to rise. The president is considering a value added tax (“VAT”) to pay for these important programs. VATs add taxes to goods as they are “improved.” For example, when you make a movie you hire a screenwriter. As soon as the screenplay is written the movie is taxed. Then as soon as you attach a director, the movie is taxed again. When actors are hired, the movie is again taxed. When CGI is added, more taxes are levied. Pretty soon, the government is getting a big return on Hollywood’s investment!

And that’s just one example of how the VAT works. I’m sure there are others. My point is that a VAT is a great start, but I’d like to encourage our politicians to “think outside the box,” so to speak, to come up with new taxes to help pay for our impending financial crises. To that end, I’ve come up with some ideas I think every reasonable citizen can agree on.

[Read more →]

Tags: money, politics & government by Ricky Sprague
11 Comments »

Another Earth Day has come and gone. As I sit here reflecting on this day, the fortieth anniversary of the first Earth day in 1970, I think about my carbon footprint. My windows are closed and my ceiling fans are on full blast. My clothes are tossing in the dryer. I just took out the trash, full of my child’s disposable diapers and maybe some plastic bottles that I “accidentally” dropped in the can. I used paper towels to wipe off the kitchen counters. And now I am watching television as I type this, which is to say that I am not watching television, but have it on as energy-wasting background noise. [Read more →]

Tags: diatribes, environment & nature by Nancy DeGregorio
1 Comment »

In Lost‘s “The Last Recruit,” the Man In Black refers to John Locke as a “sucker” for believing in fate. As he points out, Locke pursued this belief until it got him killed so perhaps MIB has a point. Despite his compelling argument, Jack takes a leap of faith towards the exact same conclusion as his former nemesis. So does this make Jack — the last recruit himself — a sucker too? My short answer is yes, but, what if this isn’t necessarily a bad thing? [Read more →]

Tags: religion & philosophy, television by Marc Oromaner
No Comments »

 Quick ….. picture an ‘environmentalist’ in your mind, and what do you see? ….. Who are these people, anyway? ….. And where do they get their crazy ideas?
[Read more →]

Tags: environment & nature by Jeff McDonald
No Comments »

The good people of RevolutionMuslim.com, who recently threatened the creators of South Park with death, over their depiction of Mohammad in a recent episode, have issued a new edict: no longer can anyone use the expression, “If the mountain won’t come to Mohammad, Mohammad must go to the mountain.” Or any variation of it. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment by Colin Cohen
9 Comments »

April 16, 2010
I dream I live in a depressing room in a dormitory so I visit my auxiliary room, which is much nicer. There is a polished wooden cane leaning up against a rich-looking wooden door so I begin to cane-walk. I hold the cane upright with the bottom tip on the floor, crouch down low, and hang from the top of the cane. I push myself up, balance in the air for a second at a time, and land a couple of feet away, sort of like mini-pole vaulting. After a few minutes of cane-walking through my auxiliary room, I feel that something is wrong and I check my penis. I find it has a 90 degree downward bend in it. I try to straighten it out, but it won’t budge. I know I’ll have to go to the health center. I notice I left the door open and people are watching me.

[Read more →]

Tags: Fred's dreams by Fred Siegel
No Comments »

“Stealth marketing” sounds like a good idea. In fact it might work, which makes the idea behind Derrick Borte’s satire on American consumerism almost believable. But while the performances are good, the plot clever and the dialogue fun, the predictable ending and lack of depth makes The Joneses mildly enjoyable, but ultimately of little consequence. [Read more →]

Tags: Gail sees a movie, movies by Gail D. Rosen
No Comments »

The prologue will give you nightmares.  (Do you know what sort of sound human vertebrae make when they give way under pressure?)  Other sections of the book made me want to cover my eyes and read through my fingers.  The killer in Thomas White’s The Book of Matthew would give Hannibal Lecter a run for his money. This is not a book for readers with weak stomachs or those prone to nightmares. Not a lot of outright gore — I’ve certainly read bloodier books — but the sort of enlightened cruelty that makes you double-check the locks before turning in for the night. Not that locks would save you. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, Lisa Reads by Lisa Hura
4 Comments »

In March 1894 Jules Renard wrote in his journal that “in order to be truly successful it is necessary, first, that one get there oneself, next, that others do not.” In May, he refined this thought a bit: “It is not enough to be happy: it is also necessary that others not be.”

Both quotes bring to mind one attributed to Gore Vidal: “It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.” [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, that's what he said, by Frank Wilson by Frank Wilson
2 Comments »

Jean-Philippe Toussaint is coming to America. The Belgian author of Television, Camera, and The Bathroom has had his work translated into more than twenty languages, and he has recently won the prestigious Prix Decembre in France. Known for a spare style often referred to as “infinitesimal,” Christopher Byrd in the The New York Times describes “Toussaint’s truncations [as] an admirable rebellion against a world that’s submerged in too much information and too little beauty.” A more detailed appreciation of Toussaint’s writing recently appeared in The London Review of Books, and his forthcoming Self-Portrait Abroad will be available from Dalkey Archive in May, 2010. And he’s funny. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, travel & foreign lands by Alex Kudera
2 Comments »

It’s not every week that the major sports websites mention vomit right on the front page. We were just that lucky this week, as a baseball “fan” in Philadelphia provided us with such an opportunity. I know the national media was aching for yet another reason to badmouth Philadelphia sports fans. They now have one. [Read more →]

Tags: bad sports, good sports by Alan Spoll
2 Comments »

When Falls the Coliseum is looking for bloggers to post commentaries, essays, rants, satire, and reviews about current events, politics, entertainment, culture, and many other topics from a broad range of personal and political perspectives. We appreciate both serious discussion and merciless mockery. We like humor — the funny kind. If you’re interested in being a regular contributor, visit our submissions page and tour our site (see FAQ, Welcome, and History). We don’t care if you are libertarian, liberal, conservative, other, or don’t pay attention to politics. As long as you can write posts that interest readers and you want to do so regularly, we’d like to hear from you. We’re looking to increase our coverage of movies, books, TV, video games, celebrity news, pop culture, politics, current events, social issues, online oddities.

Tags: announcements by Coliseum
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