December 3, 2009
I dream I am a student at a school.  I am not one of the cool kids, but everyone seems to accept me. My writing class is taught by an earnest young man who drives us to and fro in a van. One day, he asks to see my notebook. I hand it over and say “I’m sorry, but I didn’t realize you were going to ask people to show this to you.” He seems surprised and upset that anyone would object to that. There is no problem, though, because I have nothing to hide.

July 4, 2008
I dream I am taking a composition class at a suburban community college, and they return a series of exams. Everybody gets their exams back but me. I see that the teacher is holding it back, and I ask him for it. Then, the teacher says “Oh, my God!” and I see that the envelope has “FAILURE” written on it in big letters. I open the envelope and find little cards with different peoples’ handwriting and with passages crossed out. I am not concerned because I know I have my Ph.D. and I am only taking this course for fun.

September 25, 1995
I dream I have fallen asleep while reading the paper. I overhear my cousin clucking his disapproval at my slothfulness. I say, “Hey, Cuz, I’m teaching four classes these days. How many are you teaching?” He says, “It doesn’t matter. I’m an administrator.” And I say “You don’t think four classes is enough?” And he says, “No. I think you should be writing.”

“Fred’s Dreams” appears every Wednesday.

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