politics & government

Norway hates Dubya more than I do

We get it Nobel Prize Committee: you didn’t like Bush Jr. You really didn’t. You have demonstrated this by giving Nobel Peace Prizes to Jimmy Carter in 2002, Al Gore in 2007, and — apparently having failed to notice that a Republican is no longer in office — Barack Obama in 2009 (John Kerry is expecting his any day now). You have also demonstrated how little you understand the American public.

I’m no fan of Dubya’s, though I do find him a fascinating figure because by the end of his time in office he had managed to alienate liberals (which was to be expected) and also moderates (Katrina, Donald Rumsfeld, and economic collapse will do that) and even many conservatives as they watched deficits explode and big government get bigger and more meddlesome with him at the helm. Indeed, the only two parties unequivocally better for Bush having served are:

1. Pharmaceutical companies. Bush’s initial estimate of a $400 billion tab for the 2003 Medicare Drug Act (which was forced through Congress in the middle of the night, always a good sign for legislation) had by 2005 already tripled to $1.2 trillion.

2. Iran. They hated Saddam even more than we did (and with just cause, since he invaded them); you think they’d be a little more grateful for all the lives and treasure we spent eliminating their boogeyman.

That said, Nobel Prize-bestowers, there is only one thing that could cause the U.S.A. again to rally around Dubya: a bunch of foreigners telling us we shouldn’t.

The rest of the world could do so many things to show their appreciation to American voters for setting our government on a new course, such as sending troops to help us in Afghanistan or even awarding the Olympics to Chicago. But instead you give Obama an undeserved, glorified paperweight and act like we should be grateful.

We’re not.

Norway, if it’ll make you feel better, send your King Harald V here — and yes, there is something amusing about being lectured on government by people who still have a frickin’ monarchy — and we’ll arrange for him to punch Dubya in the face (hey, he’s already been hit with a shoe). But otherwise, it’s time to move on. Ideally you’ll return to the tradition of bestowing the Peace Prize on undeniably worthy parties like Nelson Mandela (who served 27 years in prison and played a crucial rule in South Africa’s peaceful transition to true democracy before you gave him the nod), but if you want to keep using it to send heavy-handed political messages, go right ahead.

Just don’t direct them to America, unless you look forward to dealing with President Palin some day.

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One Response to “Norway hates Dubya more than I do”

  1. Actually, Dubya ducked the shoe, the best move he made in the eight years of his presidency. To paraphrase Michelle Obama, at last I felt proud of my president.

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