November 10, 2008
I dream I am living with my father and my sister and it’s a school day. Seinfeld is on TV and it is a so-called “special episode” on which George’s mother dies of cancer. I am watching the last few minutes of the show on which Jerry and George are breaking the fourth wall and talking to the home viewers somewhat apologetically about having this kind of show. In the meantime, I want to get to school but my sister refuses to drive me.

May 19, 2000
I dream I am with a class of some sort and we are visiting charismatic orthodox rabbis. They are running around a low stone wall, and each time they appear around the front their clothes have miraculously changed. They encourage us to run around with them and shed our clothing. All the people in my rather large class start to remove their clothing and run around the stone wall. I begin to think this is exploitative, especially since the class is of mixed genders. I find one buxom classmate particularly arousing.

June 16, 1999
I dream my father and I hitch a boat ride to the back wall of the ocean. We sit against the wall with our feet dangling until a sea creature bites my father’s foot. At first it looks like a tiny bite but when my father picks at it he removes a talon about three inches long. We figure it’s time to go home. At that moment, everyone starts abandoning the back wall of the ocean and no one has room for us in their boat. A cop rows by and gives us an ottoman to float on.

“Fred’s Dreams” is published every Wednesday.

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