August 3, 2009
I dream I am attending a magic camp that is held in a studio/firehouse. Fabulous magician Andrew Goldenhirsh is performing at the side of the room where it is hard to see him. His final trick involves moving bits of paper around the surface of a television screen so as to make images appear more lifelike. I am asked to perform as well, but I am hesitant to follow Goldenhirsh. As I list the tricks I plan to perform my father gets upset. He notices that the tricks are all about death. I point out, “Yes, if you saw people in half, it’s about death. If you swallow needles, it’s about death. A lot of magic is about death.” This realization causes my father to sob.

September 18, 2008
I dream I am working with Karen and the cast of Disco Descending. The new show requires total nudity. Everyone else is fine with it, but I hate the way I look. Nevertheless, I force myself to get naked and dance. Karen assures me that I am beautiful and I cry in her arms.

January 13, 1994
I dream I am at my beach house and my mother is away at a community theater meeting. I notice a lit cigarette in an ash tray, and I know my mother used to smoke but not anymore. I figure that somebody I don’t know is in the house, so I start yelling “You better get out of here! I’m going to fucking kill you if I find you!” Then, in another ash tray I find another lit cigarette. At first I think someone is trying to drive me insane, but then I realize that my mother is smoking again. I see her through a window getting in a few puffs, and I cry and scream “Don’t smoke, Mommy!”

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