10. When they say “ocean view,” that includes “on television.”
9. It’s a time-share, and you only get it alternate Tuesdays.
8. There’s a security camera in the shower.
7. The “backyard pool” is only there during high tide.
6. The beach in front of the house is “bring your own sand.”
5. It’s in Nebraska.
4. The lease states that “this agreement includes free nightly massages…for the property owner.”
3. It’s in a newly opened development called Rancho Guantanamo.
2. You’re contractually obligated to ignore the shackled person in the basement.
1. The large number of cobwebs are the only thing keeping the place standing upright.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
- Author Bio [1]
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Bob Sullivan [3]
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018