Going parental: The (blind) play date
In keeping with tradition, here’s a nugget of information about me: I don’t wanna have a play date. I am formally announcing my withdrawal from this hideous tradition. Now it’s one thing to get together with my friends and let our kids kill each other while we suck down Bellini’s and talk about college and all the dumb shit we did. But it is an entirely different situation when I’m expected to go into a play date completely blind because my daughter went ahead and made friends at school. Why should I have to suffer for her social achievements? Obviously all the kids in her class like her and want to play with her. She’s cool, she’s funny, and she shares. What’s not to love?
I get it, she has friends, it’s an important part of development. Put a sock in it, babycenter. I have had it with your incessant badgering. I’m not interested in my three-year-old’s timeline, “my life now” or your stupid member comments. Just mind your own business already.
How awkward to be asked to set up a play date by a complete stranger. These are three-year-olds. They’re going to play together for like 10 minutes, fight over a toy, get yelled at and then decide to just play by themselves anyway. It’s what they do. Let them do it at school, not at my house. Let’s be real here: I’m not going to drop my kid off at a stranger’s house. I don’t care if she does know their kid, it’s not happening. And on the flip side, I don’t want them dropping their kid off at my house. We all know that after about 30 minutes I’m going to want to club the kid like a baby seal. I don’t like your kids, people. I’ve been nothing but honest about this. Why won’t anyone believe me?
So where does that leave us? That leaves us getting together so our kids can have a play date. I’m sure Shannon’s mom is a sweetheart and in some alternate universe we might have something in common but the reality is, my immediate instinct tells me that we won’t. I trust my gut and generally go with it. It has served me well. Besides, I don’t want to sit awkwardly over tea (wishing it was a cocktail) while our children fight over a tutu, and then worry about whether I’m allowed to discipline them both, or just my kid or smack her kid or whatever. And at what point is it appropriate to say, “OK honey, time to leave.” And do I have to make up a reason as to why we’re leaving so quickly? It’s like being on a date with no attraction to the other person, no alcohol and no happy ending whatsoever.
There are too many variables here and I’m not comfortable. Why anyone would want to subject themselves to this torture is beyond me. I just want it all to go away. I had to go and have the social kid. God forbid I had the shy kid that plays quietly in the corner. Nope, not me. I gave birth to the social networking queen of the pre-school. Awesome.
Going Parental appears every Thursday. For play dates you can contact me via email. Just so there’s full disclosure: My daughter has a scorching case of Coxsackie. No seriously, she does.
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The worst is the play date at your house…. any advice on how to politely kick someone out of your house? Actually, you probably aren’t the right person to ask! LOL
You know how I feel about that. And what about the parent that leaves their kid at your house for HOURS without even checking in? What’s that all about? And we’re talking about 5 year olds here. Discipline is involved. Feeding is involved. I don’t need that kind of responsibility. It’s hard enough keeping my own kid alive and safe. You’d have to be out of your mind to trust me with yours. I mean not yours yours, Amy. Just in general. Other people. Family is different. I think. Maybe. Who knows.
hysterical- thank god we’re not there yet. i have a hard enough time when jake has playdates with our neighbors’ kids…i’ll come home from work and there are 4 adults and 6 kids in my apt, happily invited over by our nanny. it’s fantastic. can’t they just play outside? it’s fucking july!
side note- i think you should just unsubscribe to babycenter (although i’m sure it will continue to provide you with lots of material) :) i think you love it hate it.
There is something to be said for kid-on-kid entertainment and socialization at home. How many times can I really play Candyland or Crazy Eights? However, two five-year-old’s can go at it for hours! But I agree that the forced conversation between the mom’s on a blind play date can get seriously uncomfortable, especially if they have nothing in common.
That’s why you need to take them to the adventure center at the Y! They can run around and bounce and play together and make a mess that’s NOT in YOUR living room and you can sit in the corner of the padded gym and read a book. Or dump them and work out. Win-win. :-)
I actually would like to invite some of Liam’s pre-school friends over, as it would mean I wouldn’t have to entertain him the entire weekend.
However, no way do I want the parents staying. I don’t need to be judged when I pour that second (fourth) glass of wine.
And polite conversation, that’s only about your kids – because you know you have absolutely nothing else in common – no thanks!
Hysterical and yet sooo true!! I was just talking about this exact thing the other day!! Torturous!!
wow.. you are so good at what you do jack. This was just the reason I left a playgroup. It gets so highschool between the Parents! talking behing backs, etc. I was done with it. Time to move on. I think when they are so young, they will barely remember playdates and all the work you did for them sucking it up to smile while thinking i want to get the fuck out of here. Answer to all of this, have siblings!
.. I also found that the more playgroup stuff you do, the more they expect. Its barely appreciated by these spoiled kids, (in a sense). When we were young we played inside, outside, sometimes had moms friend come over with their kids. And we turned out okay. We survived without “playdates”. Some moms really do like it, I understand why too, for their own socialization. As a stay at home mom, i needed a social outlet and did make some good friends from the playgroup. We then formed our own playgroup, but in the end, girls will be girls, and I didn’t like all the bullshit. Sabrina has been with this group since she is 1 1/.2. We left the group a month or so ago. GUess what, all these years… and today…?? She DOESNT even mention any of those kids. Just the neighbors, cousins, and friends kids I am friendly with. Ok william crying, again!