Top ten excuses of Governor Mark Sanford

10. He wanted to demonstrate the detrimental effects of being forced to accept a $700 million economic stimulus package.

9. He just has a weakness for Latin spitfires.

8. He wanted to show his four sons what happens when you cheat and then get caught.

7. As the governor of South Carolina, he was just “Aiken” to see his girlfriend.

6. He thought his wife might enjoy a breather.

5. He wanted to see if he could out-Blagojevich Blagojevich.

4. To help him better deal with South Carolina’s growing immigrant community, his mistress was teaching him Spanish.

3. He was checking if he could sneak in and out of the country unnoticed, to see how porous our borders are.

2. Governor Sanford wanted to be home on Father’s Day, but Governor “Johnson” had different ideas.

1. He thought the Appalachian Trail ran through Argentina.
 

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Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus ^[4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 ^[5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts ^[6])

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