March 16, 2009
I dream I am still in graduate school and living in a boarding house. Elderly people start hanging out in my room during the day. They are all around and in my bed. This annoys me. I call the landlord’s office to complain and a man I can barely understand says “Blah Blah Blah three seventy-five.” I say, “I can’t understand you,” and he talks more slowly. I complain and complain and then, when I can’t complain any longer I ask “By the way, what did you say about three seventy-five?” He says “This conversation is $3.75 a minute.” I hang up and vow to get these people.

August 13, 2008
I dream Gail and I had just joined some local theater in Philadelphia, and we are walking down the street. There are other audience members nearby, and suddenly I can’t find Gail. I yell, “Gail! Gail!” I run down to the end of the block and look down the streets, and go crazy. I have lost Gail. I pull my cell phone out to call her, and I have somebody else’s cell phone, which perplexes me. I also have my own and I call her, but she doesn’t answer. After about two minutes, Gail walks by with a handsome young man laughing and having a good time. I say, “Where the fuck have you been?” and I turn to the man and say “Who the fuck are you?” Gail does not understand why I am upset.

December 31, 1998
I dream I get a phone call from my father-in-law. He wants me to pick up a friend of his and go to a baseball game. I don’t want to because I don’t care about baseball, it’s last minute and I’m tired. Yet, he convinces me to pick this guy up at a lamp store. Then I ask when I have to pick my father-in-law up. He says, “I’m not going.” I get pissed and say “What do you mean you’re not going? If I were taking you that would be one thing–you’re my father-in-law–but who is this guy in the lamp store?” My father-in-law laughs and apologizes, but explains that he had to try anyway.

“Fred’s Dreams” is published every Wednesday.

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