Utley utters the eternal truth
With three words, with three fuckin’ words, Chase Utley became a Philadelphian. He uttered the unspeakable that spoke for us all. “World fuckin’ Champions.” He said it on live TV in front of — oh, I don’t know, a billion people? — and he said it as deliberately and magnificently as his fellow Californicatin’ Phillie said it. At the victory celebration in 1980 at JFK Stadium at the end of the biggest parade in this city that anyone had ever seen, Tug McGraw shouted, “New York can take this World Championship and stick it!” And we cheered each of them immediately — Tug and Chase — passionately and forever. Their blood has become our blood.
Utley spoke for us all when he dropped the F bomb to describe the indescribable, a feeling that comes once in a lifetime. Twice if you chose the right century to be born. World fuckin’ champions. God, that feels good. All the local stations were running live feeds of the victory ceremony at Citizens Bank Park when Utley dropped the big one, and you could actually hear NBC10 anchor Tim Lake laugh before coming on the air to apologize for the profanity that just went out over the airwaves. Perhaps the most unnecessary and insincere apology ever uttered.
What is it about Philadelphia that brings out the rude and inappropriate? Could it be about coming from a city that speaks its mind? Fuck you, King George. Bring on your lobsterback army. Fuck you New York. Bring on your money. Fuck you Washington. Bring on your power. Fuck you L.A. Bring on your Hollywood fame. And while you’re at it, fuck you in general. I’m from fuckin’ Philadelphia. The one thing I cannot stand, the one thing that drives me crazy, is to be looked down upon. Why? Because I’m from Philadelphia, you jit.
I’m from Phila-fuckin’-del-phia. I don’t have to explain my city to you. I can barely explain it to myself. But I carry in my genetic code a pride you cannot imagine. I’m from the City of Brotherly Love where we will beat your ass as happily as opening Christmas presents. Try us. I’m from Philadelphia. And so is Chase Utley
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Far fuckin’ out! Thank you, Clark DeLeon, you fuckin’ wonderful truth-speakin’ heat-seekin’ Philadelphian fuckerlover, you (and Chase Utley, too)! Phew! What a relief someone besides you know who gets it in the blogosphere, too! Yahoo! (‘Cause, sometimes, when a dream team hits straight through its high-five sky-high true-blue crimson-tide hue, there’s only one fuckin’ word in the whole fuckin’ world that does it for you!)
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