When I was 29, and single, dating went like this: See a guy at a party, make eye contact, if he walks up chat a bit, find out some stuff (who his favorite band is, if he likes the Coen Brother’s films, if he had ever bothered to finish undergrad), make out, start dating. Just like that. I didn’t care about getting married, so I didn’t care if we got serious. Nobody I met had kids (or rarely had), no one had relaxed into a job they once hated. We just wanted to be hot for each other and have some things in common. Bonus if we liked each other’s friends.

Sigh… doesn’t that sound nice? Now at 39, and single, dating goes like this: [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers, technology
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I don’t know why it would be shocking to anyone that Hugh Hefner thinks that women are sex objects, nor do I see what is controversial about what he is saying in this Showbiz Tonight video. But perhaps what is shocking is the show put on by the blonde anchor at Showbiz Tonight with her faux mild outrage that a woman’s appearance matters and that women want to be attractive to men. If she were ugly — no, if she were even average-looking or just mildly attractive — even if she had the strongest journalistic credentials to ever grace Showbiz Tonight’s illustrious newsroom, even were she the greatest investigative reporter they’d ever met — she wouldn’t be on television.

Tags: his & hers, television
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I put people in boxes. I have been doing it for a long time. The first time I did it, and did it well, was when I was seventeen. I have not spoken to that person in 22 years. Which is mostly what it means to be put in a box by me. I cut off contact entirely. I mean, it’s an imaginary box, but it works as well as a real one for me (perhaps with fewer legal ramifications.) Before you judge too harshly on how I judge, what I should have done to that first person was have him sent to jail.

When you go into one of my boxes, it isn’t just a matter of cutting off contact. [Read more →]

Tags: ends & odd, his & hers
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Via dlisted, there is an interview from Vanity Fair in which Lady GaGa confesses that she believes the seat of her creativity can be found in her wondrous loins.

Lady Gaga tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Lisa Robinson that she tries to avoid having sex because she is afraid of depleting her creative energy — “I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.”

Sex is a creative act in itself, if not procreative. It fans the creative spark; it does not deplete it. But how does a man take the creativity of a woman through her vagina? Copulation between a man and a woman involves penetrating the woman’s orifice with his penis. Does Ms. GaGa’s creativity travel into the hole in the tip of the penis, and up into his urethra, from there to his liver and eventually to his brain? [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, his & hers
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A man has been convicted of rape by deception. Let’s leave aside the specifics of this case. It’s from Israel. A Jewish woman had sex with a man who had ”introduced himself as a Jewish bachelor seeking a serious relationship.” Introducing himself this way caused them to have “consensual sex in a nearby building.” It turns out that the man was Palestinian. Not so much Jewish. He’ll now spend 18 months in prison. The issue of rape by deception in this particular case can’t be separated from Israeli politics and the unique situation there, so let’s put this particular case aside and consider rape by deception generally.

The judges in the Israeli case said that the sex was “obtained under false pretenses.” We might wonder how often it is obtained any other way. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers, on the law
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When a woman reaches a certain age, she realizes that she is no longer relevant. Her hair loses its luster, her ass gets larger, and her skin gets dry and crackly. Tight jeans are replaced by loose-fitting pajama pants. Men no longer whistle as she walks by. In fact, they don’t even look at her, probably because she is pushing a double stroller while carrying three large diaper bags on one arm, two sippy cups in one hand, and a container full of Cheerios in the other hand. And it’s not only her appearance that’s taken a hit; her lifestyle sure isn’t what it used to be. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers
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Tags: fashion & clothing, his & hers
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At age 28, I’m still young enough to get into politics if I choose to. I probably won’t, but if I do, I’m going to make sure I’m single.

Another public figure bites the dust, with an Indiana representative becoming the latest to leave office in personal disgrace. The conduct of some men elected to serve as the official leaders of our country continues to disappoint. Haven’t any of these politicians in question heard of divorce? Maybe some of them don’t believe in the procedure or fear image problems, but if that’s the case, they really shouldn’t be getting married. Nobody takes the whole “’til death do us part” bit of the marital vows seriously anymore. Plus, what’s worse - divorcing for the right reasons or being forced to leave office for the wrong ones?

Obviously, politicians are human, so maybe they want the life company of a marriage. Others might just want a wife as a way of showing how in touch with ‘family values’ they are.

The more of these relationships I hear about though, it makes me think that a politician who embraces and enjoys the single life would be a big step forward for our country.

Tags: his & hers, politics & government
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When you are in sixth grade (or these days, maybe second grade), you and the other girls in your class are asked to report to the library one afternoon for the infamous “becoming a woman” discussion. In the darkened library, and speaking in hushed tones, you are given the talk about the ways that women are different from men. You may remember it as being funny, or embarrassing. You certainly don’t see it as a particularly critical event in your maturation. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers
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In the last year, my closest friends — guys and girls — have been getting themselves in and out of the most perplexing relationships and romantic situations. The guys ask me what women are thinking. They hope I will know, but I usually do not. The girls ask me what guys are thinking. They trust my candor, and it is all too easy to express. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers
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About two dozen women walked topless on the sidewalks of Portland, Maine, in order to support the right of women to… walk around topless. The women were ”preceded and followed by several hundred boisterous and mostly male onlookers, many of them carrying cameras.” [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers
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A transgender student has been suspended from school in Fulton, Mississippi. I grew up in Queens, a big part of an even bigger city, and if a transgender teen came into my public high school in the late ’80s, people would have definitely turned to stare. Some would have wondered what that freaky kid was doing. Some would have made fun of him. Some might have threatened him (but more likely, they would have just been threatened by him). But certainly someone in the school would have accepted him. It probably wouldn’t have been the guys on the football team — but no one went to their games anyway. [Read more →]

Tags: diatribes, his & hers
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Women are fickle mistresses, especially when it comes to our tolerance for other women, and in particular, celebrities. Men may have their own issues with celebrity men, or pseudo-celebrity men, like Guy Fieri. Guy is annoying, like a fly you want to swat, but honestly, we’re not too concerned about him, or any other man, for that matter. It’s the women to whom we’re paying the most attention. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, his & hers
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A girlfriend of mine told me tonight that she is looking for a prince. Cliché as it sounds, she has maybe settled and compromised too much in the recent past. So, I can see why she would go there. I do not want any such thing. No thanks. Do those guys even know how to do their own laundry? Doubtful. I want a best friend, who will take care of me when I’m not quite up to the task, with whom I can have lots of sexy time.

My girlfriends and I have recently divided the men in our lives into two categories. Cookies and cake. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers
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Usually, South Philadelphia gets press coverage due to mob murders, student violence at South Philly High, or, during this time of year, fights over coveted parking spaces.

So it was good to see a story in the Philadelphia Daily News about South Philadelphians celebrating Valentine’s Day.

Tags: his & hers
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We need to come together to face a plague of addiction more tragic than any in recent memory. It’s even worse than drug addiction; even worse than nicotine addiction; even worse than food addiction; even worse than gambling addiction; even worse than shopping addiction; even worse than sex addiction; even worse than Jane’s Addiction.

[Read more →]

Tags: games, his & hers, television
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There is nothing sadder than a teenager succumbing to external pressures to conform. I mean that literally, and taking into account everything that has ever happened in the history of recorded time. Teens who give in to pressure are the saddest things in the world.

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Tags: art & entertainment, his & hers
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I don’t know how many of you caught this piece of horrible news for the ladies in the audience, but scientists have found that there is no evidence of the mythical “G-Spot” in women.

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Tags: his & hers, science
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The past year has given women proof for their argument that men are idiots*. 2009 might appropriately be called the year of the Homer Simpson D’oh! Although we said goodbye to eight long years of George W. Bush’s antics, plenty of men are vying to take his place as the knucklehead of the year. (Listen, I know women aren’t perfect. But when do we read stories of women acting like fools? That’s right, never. That’s probably because women are not acting like fools.) Let’s recap some of the men who unraveled in 2009 and the lessons it taught women. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers
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I was having a conversation in the truck with my girlfriend yesterday about laundry detergent.  Not, of course, because this is a subject that interests me, particularly, but because we were going to the store to pick some up.  She told me about discussions she had with her stepmother and various friends about switching to certain “formulas,” i.e., a certain detergent and a certain fabric softener or whatever.  I was flabbergasted.  My girlfriend is something of a feminist and imagining her debating the merits of detergent and fabric softener was… incongruous, I guess. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers, money
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Black Friday officially commences the beginning of the holiday season. In other words, I have to get my ass in gear and start buying presents. Buying gifts for my relatives is no small feat. Almost every holiday that I spend with my in-laws, someone inevitably starts an argument about the quality and thoughtfulness of a gift. I really love my in-laws, but squabbling over presents on Christmas doesn’t exactly put one in the holiday spirit. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, his & hers
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Recently, some women have worked themselves into a tizzy over President Obama and his good old boys club. Apparently, the ladies are feeling slighted as a result of the current White House testosterone-laden culture of ESPN, basketball games, and fist bumps. A major faux pas occurred when Obama sent out invitations to a White House basketball game with nary a woman on the list. Similarly, despite Obama’s many weekend golf games, only last weekend did a woman finally make it out to the links. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers, politics & government
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If there’s one thing African Americans love it’s having babies out of wedlock, and if there’s one thing they hate it’s marriage. Those are just facts. Luckily for them, as former PA Senator Rick Santorum pointed out Monday on Fox News’ On the Record, they have a wedlocked African American president to act as a role model. One who “says that marriage is cool” and knows how to treat his lady. He cautions Obama, though, against treating her too well, in light of his recent trip to New York. 

[Read more →]

Tags: his & hers, race & culture
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Panicked by the possible legalization of gay marriage in New York State, the National Organization for Marriage went all out with a local TV spot. The load-bearing line in the spot is: “The rights of people who believe that marriage is between a man and a woman will no longer matter.”

What rights are these? [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, his & hers, on the law
1 Comment »

So Archie has chosen. And by choosing, he’s taking us down a dark path.

Not since Rene Descartes polished off a sixth bottle of wine and slurred the famous maxim, “I drink therefore I am,” has there been a more culturally critical dualism. I’m talking about the Betty and Veronica dichotomy that has shaped generations of youth — both male and female. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, his & hers
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It’s getting harder and harder to be against gay marriage these days, isn’t it? More states are falling to acceptance each month — first Massachusetts, now Connecticut and Iowa, soon Vermont, Maine, possibly New York (thanks, wikipedia) — and those who oppose it seem only to be objects of ridicule. It seems the old stand-bys (sanctity of marriage, God stuff, inherent icky-ness) just aren’t drawing in the troops like they used to. It’s time to rethink the strategy, come up with a few new talking points. Because, really… gay marriage? 

[Read more →]

Tags: Kelly Conaboy saves the world, his & hers
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If you just read what those on on the left, particularly the gay left, and in their MSM echo chamber said about Carrie Prejean without hearing the beauty queen’s actual words, you might have thought she had slandered gays, saying that the reason “homosexuals” weren’t worthy of state-sanctioned married was because we were perverts, incapable of relationships.

But, she didn’t smear us. She just articulated how she defined marriage — which is how all societies have defined the institution since time immemorial, by gender difference.* [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers
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As my first post here, I thought I would address a theme which I regularly consider on GayPatriot where I first started blogging. In reviewing my past posts on the topic, I found a few common themes emerged. I regularly faulted those gay marriage advocates who prefer substituting name-calling to serious discussion and urged said advocates to follow the lead of Jonathan Rauch, author of  Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America, who has made careful arguments for the social change which state recognition of gay marriage represents. [Read more →]

Tags: family & parenting, his & hers
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The Democratic Republic of Congo has been called the most dangerous place in the world to be a woman or girl. (John Prendergast) The weapon of choice in this African country is not a gun or machete; it is mass rape and sexual assault. Hundreds of thousands of women have reported being attacked, and who knows the true number, as the stigma that goes with rape causes untold numbers not to report it. [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers, terror & war
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I should start by stating, without any equivocation, that Allen Andrade should go to jail for the rest of his life, or be executed, or receive whatever is the worst punishment that society imposes on a murderer. I am glad that he has been sentenced to jail for life without a chance of parole. There is no doubt that he deserves it and more for killing Maria Zapata. There’s no controversy there. The reason this story is making headlines is that it “was the first time in the nation that a state hate crime statute resulted in a conviction in a transgender person’s murder.”  [Read more →]

Tags: his & hers, on the law
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