10. When my doctor emailed me asking me if I knew my “blod group,” I replied, “Typo.”
9. If you have trouble getting your gecko up in the morning, you may have a reptile dysfunction.
8. When I was young, I used to feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body, but all of that changed when I was born.
7. “Have I made myself clear?” said the chameleon standing in front of the sheet of glass.
6. I intend to live forever, and…so far, so good!
5. I put tape on all the mirrors in my house, so I don’t accidentally walk through into another dimension.
4. I just finished writing a book about poltergeists, and I’m happy to say it’s flying off the shelves.
3. I’m taking a levitation course and, on my very first day I went straight to the top of the class!
2. I’ve started sending Tweets telepathically — so if you think of something funny, that’s me!
1. Two parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet! (although I guess, technically, that’s a two-line joke.)
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.