10. “I understand that the Oscar was actually named after a guy named ‘Oscar’.”
9. “The montage of dead actors at the Golden Globes is a good indication of who’ll still be dead tonight.”
8. “I hear new U.S. Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is hoping that Ruth Negga wins for Loving just so he can say, ‘Well, mercy me! I do declare, a Negga just won Best Actress!’ and not get in trouble for it.”
7. “I’d like to thank the Academy. And for those of you who think it’s an honor just to be nominated: What a bunch of losers!!”
6. “I was considered ‘ineligible for a 2016 Academy Award,’ I think probably because I didn’t actually do anything this year.”
5. “I love that new ‘anatomically correct’ Oscar; it’s so much easier to carry!.”
4. “I’m so glad the Academy has finally recognized O.J. Simpson. They totally overlooked him for those Naked Gun movies.”
3. “I only hope I live long enough to be included in that In Memoriam segment.”
2. “I thought La La Land was about a Magical Kingdom ruled over by that yellow Teletubby with the curly antenna!”
1. “When I was backstage, I accidentally knocked over a couple of envelopes, but I can’t see how that can be a problem. I mean, they’ve only got one award left to present.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
- Author Bio [1]
- Latest Posts [2]
Bob Sullivan [3]
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018