10. You notice a bunch of sixes on your scalp
9. You suddenly start speaking unintelligibly, and you don’t work for Fox News
8. Your blood type came back as “Fire and Brimstone”
7. Every time you walk into a room, Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells starts playing
6. You’re producing more pea soup than Campbells
5. You’re Chris Christie (Sorry, that’s a sign you need exercise)
4. You recoil and hiss every time you see a hot cross bun
3. You’re one of the Koch Brothers
2. Your head has been spinning around so much, you’ve worn out twelve collars
1. No matter how you prepare your eggs, they always come out deviled
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
- Author Bio [1]
- Latest Posts [2]
Bob Sullivan [3]
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018