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Top ten excuses of Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling

10. “I’m no racist! My basketball team is well over half black!”

9. “Poor people and middle-class people are racists; billionaires are just eccentric.”

8. “I’m no more racist than my good buddy, Cliven Bundy.”

7. “How can I be a bigot? My girlfriend who taped me is half black.”

6. “In 1983 I asked a potential new coach, ‘What makes you think you can coach these n*ggers?’ In 2009 I was fined $2.73 million for housing discrimination – the largest such payment in U.S. history – claiming that the blacks in my building ‘smelled’ and ‘aren’t clean’. At least I’m consistent!”

5. “I’m was hoping my remarks would make me a front-runner for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination.”

4. “Since when do you get in trouble for doing a Paula Deen impression?”

3. “I once got a Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People! (Oooooo, I love saying ‘colored people’!)”

2. “How can I be a racist when, only last week, the U.S. Supreme Court held that racism in this country is a thing of the past?”

1. “I just believe in calling a spade a spade.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus [4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 [5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

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