Upgrade blues: The screenager vs. the teacher of argument
One trait of being a “screenager” is the love of upgrades. In a bit-based world governed by the never-ending promise of Moore’s Law, they live for the next best device. My daughter has been campaigning for a new cell phone to add to her growing list of devices, including a one-year old cell phone that she has lost… no, more on that in a moment.
She pleaded her case via a letter. Since I am currently teaching persuasive writing, I decided to respond to her articulation of her 21st-century desires with the age-old tool of rhetorical analysis. Her original documents, with her permission, are scanned here* (see note below), and my response follows.
Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you for your letter. You are turning into a talented—and persuasive—writer.
Speaking of persuasion, you know I teach persuasive writing. In fact, I’m teaching that very course this term. I wanted to respond to your letter based on the three rhetorical appeals (as identified by Aristotle some 2,000 years ago, amazingly). Rhetoric is the art and skill of using language effectively. In many ways, you are quite a good rhetorician.
First, I will look at pathos, which is an appeal to your reader’s emotions. You apologize to me for not being “the nicest girl lately.” You decorate your letter (and the envelope) with hearts. You say “I love you.” You refer to yourself as my “little bear,” which you know makes me feel all gushy. You use nice paper. These appeals did make me want to make my little girl happy, which is what you intended. You were successful in appealing to pathos in your argument.
Next I will examine ethos, which focuses on the writer’s character. Ethos helps to persuade by telling your reader you are intelligent, knowledgeable, and fair. You do a decent job here. You tell me you have done well in school. You inform me that you are “pretty good” with your room. You then list some generous things, including recent incidents of sharing pudding and gum with me, helping me with our turkey fryer, and assisting me when I’m coaching. Those things make me think of you as a good person, but the real question is whether they establish that you are someone who should get a new phone, and I don’t think that you do that effectively.
Finally, we come to logos, which is the use of solid reasoning and evidence to make an argument. Here your argument is weak. As you yourself point out, you’ve been “irresponsible” with your other two phones. You say you need a new phone mainly because your phone runs low on battery after a day. It seems easy enough to fix that: Get you a new battery. You also say the main advantages of the new phone are that it “is a great size” and “is a great phone.” You use the word “great” repeatedly, but I don’t really see the greatness based on your argument. Your reasoning does not convince me that your life will be improved by the purchase of a new phone.
Unfortunately, in terms of your overall argument, your logos is not strong enough to persuade me. You are a great little girl. Your work in school can be magnificent. You do some work around the house. And of course I love you more than anything.
But these things do not mean you get a new phone. You’ve had a phone for a year. You’ve lost it twice (once we were lucky enough to get it back). We also received a free iPod Touch in September, which you promptly confiscated. You have plenty of devices. The cell phone plan you are on expires in February 2012. That may seem like a long time from now, but the reality is it is not. Time moves quickly. 2012 will be here soon, and at the end of your two-year contract I promise that as long as you do not lose your phone again, you will be entitled to an upgrade next Valentine’s Day.
For now, your phone is fine for your needs. So, while you stirred my emotions and did reinforce that you are a good person , your argument did not have enough logical, convincing evidence that you should get a new phone.
Love,
Daddy
*I would be remiss if I did not add that she only permitted the publication of her letter because she felt it would help her garner support from members of the digerati, who no doubt understand her pleas in ways that I cannot.
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Buy her the damned phone, you Aristotelian bully. Logos, schmogos.
It’s a black-and-white world. No new phone until 2012!
I absolutely LOVE this article.
I truely hope that I can overcome my all-too-often emotional responses to other people and events in my life — especially those pertaining to my children — so that I might offer them such calm, perfectly explicated reasons for my responses.
“Digerati” = Awesome
We all strive to be the type of parents who continue to analyze the situation beyond the pathos. I’m impressed with the logical, sound reasoning you employed against a very talented daughter. May you to continue to stay strong…good luck. You’re gonna need it!
Thank you guys! Uncle Mat, you’re not my favorite uncle anymore! Just kidding. I deserve my phone (sort of)!
Scott,
Great article. The Scott I know would buy her a jump rope and convince her that not only is it better than a new phone, but it is also the best, single piece of equipment that you could ever have.
Good luck with that.
I say … she gets it (:
The power of the cell phone with the next generation can not be explained, it is absolutely amazing what a child will do when they want something. Write a persuasive letter and even pay with her own money! Remember, she will give you anything if you decide to take away that out of date junk phone. The only positive thing about these phones is how good the kids are when you take them away.
You have listened well grasshopper!
This is a safety issue, plain and simple. When she needs to contact Mom and Dad, do you want an old phone that cannot receive a signal or the battery is dead or do you want a brand new cellphone that is crystal clear and has a battery that lasts for weeks. Elizabeth, we all care about you dearly and want you to be safe and sound with a NEW cellphone.,
Thank you Scott. The idea of using logic isn’t something all parents leep a focus on and I appreciate finding tools that help me do that. As a divorced parent I tend to be even more prone to emotional appeals because of the recurring doubt that comes with those insidious thoughts of having taken something away from a child by choosing divorce. (Feel free to lecture away, I have known I have made the right decision for my son since the day I drove away but it doesn’t stop the doubt from occasionally creeping in when my son asks the why questions.)
And Patti, I must disagree. Why on earth wouldn’t a cell phone that stays charged for a day be safe enough? When is the child going to be far enough away from electricity that a day-long charge would put her in danger? If anything, having to provide additional care and upkeep for a cell phone will build better care-taking habits for the new phone, not put the child in danger.
And really, how does a cell phone truly keep a child safe anyway?
Regards,
Mary
Rhetorical analysis here, double arm bar there… Give her the damn phone, you bully. She gave you gum and pudding, for god’s sake!
Unless this is just a smokescreen and you’re going to surprise her with a new iPhone…
D
First, Elisabeth’s letter was great. Very well written and logical. In a few years she’s going to be way too clever for you to handle, so do what you can now. hehe.
And your argument against the new phone is solid as can be. However, and I can’t believe I’m writing this, I think she should get the new phone…but only because she offered up her own money. As long as that money can cover the cost of the new phone and any monthly fees until the end of the plan, I see a good way to hammer home a lesson. There is a bumpy track record with the other phones and as long as Elisabeth realizes that neither money nor phone will be replaced at all this time, then maybe being more personally invested will smooth things a bit. If not, then mom and dad haven’t lost anything and child will have (hopefully) finally seen the error of bad habits.
PKR’s comment is the most prescient: Warnock should take the long view…by 2012 Elizabeth will be RUNNING him and the house, given her 11 year-old writing abilities (2013 at the outside), and Scott should take every opportunity to curry favor with her NOW so that he can write HER cute letters with bunnies and hearts, reminding her that he got her a Droid X way back in 2011…it might be the only currency he has.
Slightly more seriously, Elizabeth’s letter and Scott’s analysis seems exactly the kind of example first-year college students need. It is concise, teaches rhetoric in a concrete way, and is accessible. Way better than 10/10 readers I can think of.
A final point: Elizabeth starts with counterargument, which I always found to be one of the hardest tools to teach students…so yet more value.
Thank you for this, Scott. Very funny and reminds me of my arguments with my Uncle Jim, a former lawyer.
Thank you Scott, reminiscent of arguments with my children including Brooks–above–about why we couldn’t get cable TV! Technology evolves but apparently not the parent – tweenager conflict :)
Ah, a Jerry Springer moment! but of course much more sophisticated–Aristotelian analysis indeed!
By the way, uh, what’s a “Droid X” (if I got that right)?
I have to agree with PKR as well – Scott skipped over the most convincing appeal; she’s willing to use her own money! (Whether this is logos or pathos, I’m not sure. I don’t know how much of a tightwad Mr. Warnock is.) But what is Elizabeth learning about fiscal control and personal responsibility if she’s not allowed to fritter away her money as she sees fit? These are valuable life lessons and particularly so in this current spendthrift era, and in my mind put her argument over the top. This is a teaching moment for her in many ways.
I’m so glad my two-year-old doesn’t want a cell phone yet, but I am afraid to imagine what kids will be into in another 11 years…
Don – A Droid X is the newest Android phone, Google’s response to Apple’s digital device hegemony.
You guys are awesome!!! :-) I have the money for the phone. I don’t see why my dad won’t get it for me. e
Elizabeth — I, too, teach argumentative writing. For a small fee, I would be happy to help you re-draft your appeal so as to meet all of your father’s Aristotelian thingamajiggies; though, I can’t guarantee it will work on that heart of stone, or that stentorian head of poo-poo. Poor child.
Blythe,
“. . . I don’t know how much of a tightwad Mr. Warnock is.”
Give me but a month and I will spin you the yarn . . .
Scott, is there a fancy greek word for sucking up? Elisabeth is officially the only eleven year old I know that has ever written her father a persuasive letter, she definitely knows her audience! While reading your response, I couldn’t help but to think how glad I am that my father didn’t teach persuasive writing! The kid asks for a cellphone and she gets a writing critique along with a big fat NO! My parents would have just said “because I said so” I feel for you Elisabeth, I was even pulling for you a little. But there’s a lesson here in patience that I think you’ll be grateful to have learned someday.
Warnock … I’m surprised that no one has asked how you plan to pay for your childrens’ therapy as they have to explain the way their father’s tomes undermined their ability to enjoy a normal childhood.
That said, I agree she shouldn’t get the new phone yet … even if she offers money to buy the device, who pays for the monthly cell plan or any “overages” should they occur? She’s a minor and has no legal or financial obligation to maintain this contract with AT&T or Verizon.
As persuasive as she is for her age … I’m not a child psychologist, but I never saw the big picture as an 11 year old and I would have to venture that without parents to teach us lessons of delayed gratification (think marshmallow, something you are not good at), or commitment (as in, a 2-year contract), or financial obligations (as in, don’t lose the expensive device) … how do children learn boundaries, to set goals, to work for them or to enjoy them once we get them?
And re: safety issue … a basic, old fashioned programmed cell phone (not a smart phone) is safe enough for a child to use in case of emergency. And as much as I hate to say it, the only instance where she’d be away from home for more than a day is if she ran away or was abducted, so yes, there are reasons beyond 24 hours if a parent/child feels safer with a phone … however, a new battery will do the trick here.
Of course, if you buy her the Droid now you save yourself from creeping mac-ism later when she wants an iphone. The domino danger is alive and well, Dr. Warnock. . .beware.
BTW. . .my kids didn’t get no stinking cell phones til they were in high school. Probably why they are so VERY good at delayed gratification today. . .
Two points: “Christmas money.” What is this? Money Elizabeth will get for Christmas? Money that she has saved up to buy presents with for other people (i.e. her parents and her brothers)? Why does no one investigate what this term of the equation is?
#2: I guess the safety issue reveals why there are so few of us Baby Boomers that survived into adulthood, as we grew up before the invention of anything more than the walkie-talkie.
I have to say, Mr. Warnock, that I agree with your original decision – no phone. Not holding firm on issues at this age, will only make the teen years that much more difficult.
More importantly, how tasty was the turkey a la fryer? Would you recommend?
Katie, turkey in a fryer is the most incredible way to enjoy a Thanksgiving turkey! Best tasting turkey I every had!!!
As for the great cell phone debate, I’m sorry Elizabeth, I’m in your Dad’s corner on this one. However, I’m impressed with your writing skills and so is my 5th grade class! I shared your letter and they were persuaded by your argument. We took a class vote. (I lost) The vote was 21 – 1.
Dear Grandbaby, I love you..a lot!!! But I’m with Daddy..no phone until next year..The phone is a luxury ..waiting a year will teach you patience and character….Hugs, Your Babcia
Really? No hugs on this one.
I don’t think that withholding hugs from grandparents improves the author’s ethos.
. . . yet, for grandparents (if my parents are any indication of other grandparents), it just may be an effective persuasive tool, nonetheless . . .
Dear GrandBaby, A very important issue here (which Dad mentioned) is there is a contract on this phone. You simply MUST fulfill your obligation. That’s where character building comes into play. I’m sending you MANY hugs.Love you, Babcia
Imagine later in life when the decision is, “Do we let daddy live with us, or do we put him away?” I’m just saying…just a little something to ponder!
I imagine, with Elizabeth’s obvious talents becoming even more refined over time, Daddy is going to have to put together one heck of a written argument if he wants to stay out of The House of Joyous Decline.