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religion & philosophythat's what he said, by Frank Wilson

No system of ideas can ever come near to encompassing the wonder of reality

“I mistrust all systematizers and avoid them,” Nietzsche writes in Twilight of the Idols. “The will to a system is a lack of integrity.”

Well, no one will ever accuse Nietzsche of thinking systematically. I actually don’t have much regard for him as a thinker at all. He has brilliant insights that he expresses brilliantly, but a good deal of what he says is pretty goofy — though even that is usually entertaining.

But I have no problem with the unsystematic nature of Nietzsche’s thinking. [Read more →]

language & grammarpolitics & government

Exaggeration nation: In which a pun is resisted

By now, you know that Indiana Senator Evan Bayh is retiring because of excess partisanship, or legislative gridlock, or because he’s “an executive at heart,” or something.

Less noted, but of infinitely greater importance, is the retirement of juvenile uses of Evan Bayh’s surname by poor journalists, tacky aggregators, nattering twits, and everyone else who doesn’t know how to resist an impulse.

[Read more →]

politics & government

I’m becoming more of an anarchist every day

That wacky Gallic advocate of total war, Georges Clemenceau, is reputed to have said something like (in French, I suppose), “Not to be a socialist at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head.” Fair enough. But what does it mean when, as the years pass, a man finds himself becoming more of an anarchist? [Read more →]

bad sports, good sports

Bad sports, good sports: I really don’t like the Tiger Woods story

I really didn’t want to write about Tiger Woods this week. I dislike everything about this story, and don’t enjoy the thought of piling on to the already massive amount of coverage this story is getting. Still, there is no avoiding it. Clearly, people are fascinated, and to an extent that I find highly distressing. [Read more →]

books & writingpolitics & government

Philip K. Dick’s “Climategate” novel

Although Philip K. Dick passed away in 1982, his novels and stories still have a feel of immediacy. These works of speculative fiction dealt with themes that still preoccupy our minds — the overreach of governments that lie to their subjects in order to increase their power, corrupt corporations that attempt to control every aspect of peoples’ lives, and the nature of identity in an increasingly confusing world. Hollywood studios love him, because his personal stories of alienation in modern society appeal to modern filmmakers, who have turned his fiction into classic films such as Blade Runner, Minority ReportTotal Recall, and at least three other films that I have seen, but whose titles escape me at the moment.

For me, one of his best works is the novel The Penultimate Inconvenient Truth, which is the story of a conspiracy among scientists and various world governments to convince people that the planet’s temperature (“planetemp”) is rising. In fact, there is little evidence of this — the scientists and governments are just using it as an excuse to consolidate power. The first chapter, reprinted below, is so prescient that it almost feels like it could have been written today, just now, by me, as a satire. Except for all those classic Phildickian terms, of course:

[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingsports

Top ten rejected Winter Olympic events

10. Snowplowing

9. Speed Typing

8. Bottomless Ski Jump

7. Icicle Toss

6. Octathlon

5. Nordic Hot Tub

4. Ice Hockey Free-For-All

3. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Doubles Luge

2. Snowman Building

1. Ski Curling
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

diatribessports

How do you say “sore loser” in Russian?

God help me, I love figure skating, especially the men’s competition. You can keep the girls — if I wanted to watch a bunch of under-fed 14 year olds twirl around to Tchaikovsky, I’d crash a suburban ballet recital. The men have…well, they have balls. Know what else I love? My country, so I was thrilled to death last week that the gold medal in men’s figure skating went to America’s own Evan Lysacek, a.k.a. the new Love of my Life (suck it, Michael Phelps). I felt ecstatic, emotional, elated…and then absolutely infuriated when Evgeny Plushenko, who won the silver, started shooting off his mouth and claiming that the gold is rightfully his. Are we going to stand for this, America? [Read more →]

religion & philosophytelevision

Lost in myth: Why LOST can be a substitute for “Willy Wonka”

Lost episode 6.4, “The Substitute,” has so many parallels with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory , I am convinced that the movie can be used to reveal Lost‘s endgame. While I’m sure those parallels also exist within the actual Charlie and the Chocolate Factory book, since I am more familiar with the 1971 Gene Wilder movie (having seen it dozens of times), I will make my comparisons there.  Sure, this may turn out to be nothing more than stuff and nonsense, but in the words of Wonka, “a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” So, let’s get to it because we have so much time and so little to do. Strike that…reverse it.

[Read more →]

politics & government

I’m repulsed by the game everyone is playing, “Joe Stack: Political Weapon”

I have documented proof that the first partisan attacks began at no later than 11:51 AM, slightly less than two hours after the crash, and that they were aimed at Obama.  The rhetoric is now mostly unintelligible, Democrats bashing Republicans, and vice versa.  It makes me want to vomit.

Why can’t people get it through their heads that a certain segment of the population is just going to be crazy, and that any group with a large enough population size will have the same ratio of sane to insane people as the population at large?  I’m all for the constant mud slinging over things like health care, the lack of global warming, etc.  But at some point we need to acknowledge that sometimes a tragedy isn’t partisan, that it’s just the act of some person who has gone absolutely bat shit insane, that there is no way to make sense of the insane, and that the best we can do is extend our sympathy and condolences to the families of those whose lives were lost.

books & writingdamned lies

Shelve Your Indie Novel Now

Thirteen Misconceptions Surrounding National Shelve Your Indie Novel in the Superbookstore Month

1)  America did not carpet bomb any lawless tribal regions with remaindered and pulped copies of confiscated counterfeit Indie versions of Sarah Palin’s autobiography.

2)  103,017 bottles and cans of Coke and Pepsi staged a walk out from 7-11 freezer space across the country in protest of the marginalization of indie novelists and collusive practices across the country. [Read more →]

race & culturetravel & foreign lands

Why the Irish are fookin’ brilliant

As we draw closer to that special time of year — readying ourselves for parades from Peoria to Paris, why don’t we take a closer look at the real scope of influence that emanates from this Celtic island about the size of Maine . . .

5. Ever wonder why so many kids have Irish surnames as their first names? I personally know multiple Logans, Ryans, Shannons, Dylans, Kennedys, Finns, Connors, MacKenzies, Barretts, and even Rowans. They’re everywhere. Why? Why are those names umpteen times better than Hans or Neville or Snur? How come nobody wants to cuddle a little Vlad? Sad little Vlad.

[Read more →]

ends & oddmusic

The break-up barometer

Valentine’s Day has recently passed, leaving many to look forward to next year’s bouquet of flowers, heart-splattered teddy bears and cardboard boxes full of calories. Good for you, I’m glad Hallmark/Walmart/the entire advertising industry has your continued attention, affections, and disposable income.  I, however, am left to ponder deeper, more meaningful issues. Like Phil Collins. [Read more →]

diatribestechnology

Voicemail: Stop leaving it

To anyone who stumbles self-consciously through voice messaging: relax, voicemail is dying along with the home landline. To everyone else: let’s not prolong its suffering. [Read more →]

environment & nature

Pluto is a harsh mistress

Dramatis Personae
Barack Obama, President of the United States
Al Gore, Former Vice-President of the United States

GORE: Mr. President, we must send a manned mission to Pluto at once. And I graciously volunteer to head it.

OBAMA: Pluto? Why Pluto?

GORE: Have you not read? There’s global warming on Pluto! [Read more →]

creative writingon thrillers and crime

Dance with the Bull, part I, fiction by Paul Davis

I was told that Lieutenant Edwin Fay was thrilled with being a naval intelligence officer back in 1964. James Bond-mania was in full swing and Fay was a big fan of the novels and films.

Fay was pleased to learn that his true-life hero, the late President John F. Kennedy, a World War II naval officer, was also a fan of the novels and once dined with Bond’s creator, Ian Fleming. [Read more →]

politics & governmenttrusted media & news

Goat watch: President of Pakistan sacrifices a lot of bearded animals to please God, God not pleased

When I originally saw the headline in Pakistan’s Dawn newspaper that President Asif Ali Zardari sacrificed a black goat a day in his presidential compound I was quite excited- could this be another entry for Lucifer Watch? After all the goat, especially a black one, is a beast often associated with the Lord of the Flies. But then again, Pakistan is a country which is 98% Muslim or thereabouts, and I just couldn’t see the people (or military) of that nation feeling all that comfortable with a leader paying tribute to the one they call Iblis; indeed I can’t see the people of any country feeling all that relaxed with a head of state openly in cahoots with Satan. [Read more →]

Fred's dreams

Seafood

February 1, 2010
I dream I am interviewing Bob Newhart during a midterm exam. Bob is charming, and he allows me to hang out in his West Philly home where he is finishing up a memoir. I sneak back later to finish up a few things and I inadvertently destroy a tropical fish hors d’ oeuvre. While getting rid of the evidence I discover a crazy elderly woman sleeping underneath his kitchen work table. I try to escape before Bob gets back.

[Read more →]

politics & governmentterror & war

Bye, Bayh and Hello Hillary!

Bodies are hitting the floor with an alarming tempo but are they smote and dead or are they on the deck playing possum? It’s a mixed bag. [Read more →]

Gail sees a moviemovies

Gail sees a movie: Saint John of Las Vegas

Putting two quirky characters in a car together for wacky adventures can be a winning formula. When you add in hilarious supporting performances, you should walk away from the tables a winner. But something is missing from Saint John of Las Vegas, and it is not just the city of Las Vegas.  Despite a few laughs, memorable characters and some good performances, this film is a loser.  [Read more →]

animals

Dang! A terrier wins Westminster AGAIN … but …

at least this time it was a Scottie. Me? I prefer the larger breeds. But if one of the little guys has to win (and they do that A LOT at Westminster Kennel Club‘s annual show), then at least it’s a beloved breed from ‘Scotland the brave.’

Hoot, mon!

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