Grade inflation is a popular topic (at least on Google, where the term gives you a quarter million+ hits). A recent article in Inside Higher Ed titled “Grade Inflation, Higher and Higher” examined again a subject that seems to annoy almost everyone. [Read more →]
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10. Your performance has been described as “Sandler-esque”
9. Contestants on Bowling for Dollars aren’t eligible
8. Your show only appeared on YouTube, and starred Mr. Whiskers
7. You were a writer for Hollywood Game Night
6. Your pilot for Law & Order: U.S. Postal Inspection Service never made it to air
5. Your reality show is all about your family-operated business called Duck Commander
4. As a C.S.I. corpse, you were never given the opportunity to show your full range as an actor
3. Donald Trump is somehow involved
2. Outstanding Lead Actor in a Boner Pill Commercial isn’t a category
1. You’re a Kardashian
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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It’s been just under fifteen years, now, that Joint Resolution 71 passed through the U.S. House of Representatives, then the U.S. Senate, then was signed into by law President George Bush, proclaiming September 11 as Patriot Day. This followed President Bush’s proclamation of September 14, 2001 – just three days after the horrific terrorist attacks of ‘9/11’ – as a National Day of Prayer and Remembrance. Personally, I think President Bush had the right idea in that proclamation, perhaps realizing that there was more to what we experienced that terrible day – and the days and years that followed – than just patriotism. [Read more →]
TweetMaybe it’s because I work at Drexel. We are a different school in many ways, especially because we’re on the quarter system. We’re shifted off a month from other universities. While most freshmen go off to college at the end of August, Drexel students nervously wait for weeks. In June, when everyone else has been done for a month, we’re in finals season. So maybe I’m schedule-weird, but I really want people to stop trying to steal my summer. [Read more →]
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10. Hillary Clinton’s IT guy
9. Duck Dynasty beard de-tangler
8. Republican fact checker
7. Amish air conditioner repairman
6. Roger Ailes’s lotion boy
5. Apprentice crackwhore
4. Public pool pee monitor
3. Suicide bomber
2. Hooker at Comic-Con 2016
1. Donald Trump’s PR guy
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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10. The B&B you stayed at evidently stood for ‘bed’ and ‘bugs’
9. What everyone else thought was a sunburn was actually a rash
8. You got a “TRUMP 2016” facial tattoo
7. You were the only person at your resort not wearing a yellow hazmat suit
6. You lost so much blood from mosquito bites, they actually stopped biting you
5. You got kicked out of your luxury hotel because you were lying stark naked on your bed when the maid walked in…finally!
4. You caught crabs at the beach – but not the edible kind
3. You thought the summer camp you were applying to was named after the ancient Egyptian goddess Isis
2. Your eyebrows haven’t grown back since the Fourth of July
1. First name ‘Ryan’, last name ‘Lochte’
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Tweet10. He won’t give you mouth-to-mouth unless he takes you to dinner first
9. He’s declared himself “King of the Ocean” and sits atop his lifeguard tower wearing an ermine-lined cloak and holding a scepter
8. He has a tendency to throw drowning people the wrong kind of Life Saver, and prefers peppermint
7. Instead of rubbing sunblock on his nose, he uses vanilla pudding
6. He prefers sitting with his back to the ocean
5. He’ll only use his defibrillator to heat his tacos
4. He’s dating his CPR dummy
3. He’s wearing a lifeguard whistle. Period.
2. Whenever someone is drowning, he tries to run towards them in slow motion, because that’s how they run on Baywatch
1. He likes to be buried in the sand up to his neck…headfirst
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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Don’t let the title of Wrestling with Gods, a collection of short stories and poems assemble by Liana Kerzner and Jerome Stueart, fool you. It DOES provide an overlying theme for this latest installment of the Tesseracts series … but it provides only a hint of what the reader will find inside. [Read more →]
TweetCan you dunk a basketball? If not, you are below expectations, because my expectation is that you should be able to. I don’t care if you’re short or are a great soccer player. I don’t care that there aren’t b-ball hoops in your neighborhood. You better find a dunking-specific coach and get to work. And so we have the PARCC test and its mysterious expectations. Yet the New Jersey State Board of Education still recently voted 6-0-1 to make PARCC a graduation requirement by 2020. [Read more →]
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10. Tronald Dump
9. Hair Hitler
8. Trumpageddon
7. OranguTAN
6. Darth Hater
5. Our Future Impeached President
4. Der Furor
3. Doll Hands
2. Forrest Trump
1. The Assassination Inciter
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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10. “She has the loveliest limbs I’ve ever seen.”
9. “I just felt like being knotty.”
8. “I’ve always had sex with women before, and I thought I’d branch out.”
7. “I myself am a son of a birch.”
6. “Her body is gnarly, man!”
5. “When it comes to romance, I’m a real sap.”
4. “I pine for her every day.”
3. “I’ve asked her to marry me again and again; every year she gets another ring.”
2. “One touch from her and I’m sporting wood.”
1. “Beggars can’t be choosers – though actually I’d prefer a trimmed bush.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
TweetIt’s summer, and I’m just back from vacation and scraping off some rust. In the spirit of summer reruns (who’s reading now anyway?), I wanted to re”publish” an old piece this week. Observing some activities of late on the political front, I remembered an article I wrote a decade ago that I think works well for my throwback purposes, or at least provides relevant context for my effort to get around writerly laziness. So, here, reprinted in full, is an August 2006 piece from Academic Exchange Extra about Trump University. (Note: This runs long and even comes with citations. Note: It’s not political.)
10. Sewer Diving
9. Urban Shooting
8. Javelin Catching
7. Defensive Archery
6. Scum Sailing
5. Hockeying a Loogie
4. Zika Dodging
3. Topless Beach Volleyball
2. Pokémon Go Roundup
1. Synchronized Sludge
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Tweet10. “It’s so hot, Siri suggested I drop my cell phone in a glass of iced tea.”
9. “It’s so hot, my water buffalo evaporated.”
8. “It’s so hot, Jehovah’s Witnesses have decided to give telemarketing a try.”
7. “It’s so hot, the Campbell Soup Company is changing its directions to ‘Open, pour, and enjoy!’”
6. “It’s so hot, a Republican actually broke down and admitted Global Warming is real.”
5. “It’s so hot, instead of bread, stores are only selling toast.”
4. “It’s so hot, Hillary Clinton will continue campaigning in her pantsuit…without the pants.”
3. “It’s so hot, in Colorado, Washington, Alaska and Oregon, joints are lighting themselves.”
2. “It’s so hot, I ran into a burning building, just to cool off.”
1. “It’s so hot, Melania Trump actually appreciated the cool reception her plagiarized speech got.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
TweetI am told J.P. Wagner covered a lot of ground and a lot of topics in the course of his career as a journalist. Having ‘been there, done that’ myself, I suspect it left him with an appreciation for a broad range of interests.
That certainly appears to be the case in his first published novel, Railroad Rising: The Black Powder Rebellion. Fantasy, action and adventure, swords and sorcery? Check, check, check. Steampunk, royal court intrigue, love story? Check them all off as well. [Read more →]
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The late Garry Marshall largely defined the sitcom (his creations include The Odd Couple, Happy Days, Mork & Mindy, Laverne & Shirley, and, er, Joanie Loves Chachi). Then, as was the fashion at the time, he graduated from the small screen to the big one and he made a series of films with premises that can only be described as deeply creepy… yet he directed them with a sitcom touch.
Indeed, he directed them with more of a sitcom touch than his own sitcoms usually displayed. (The Odd Couple in particular is timeless.) A number of his films involved the sexual exploitation of women — seriously, wait until you see the films — yet he refused to make downers.
Indeed, while he usually included a tear-jerking scene or two, these films were meant to be feel-good hits and, against all odds, some of them indeed were.
I present highlights of the filmography of Garry Marshall, who effortlessly distorted genres in a way Todd Solondz can only imagine.
(NOTE: These are the actual plots of Marshall’s actual movies. Really.)
Tweet10. “I think Donald Trump has said he’s qualified to be President because of his business record. A few days ago, he said, and I quote, ‘I’m going to do for the country what I did for my business.’ So let’s take a look at what he did for his business. He’s written a lot of books about business; they all seem to end at Chapter 11.” — Hillary Clinton
9. “Republicans are blaming President Obama for creating Donald Trump. While others say he was created in a lab when a young real estate developer was bitten by a radioactive douchebag.” — Conan O’Brien
8. “Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them ‘anxious.’ And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them ‘Canadian.’” — Conan O’Brien
7. “Donald Trump is America’s back mole. It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s become frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it.” — John Oliver
6. “In a prepared speech last night, Donald Trump told supporters he is going to ‘take care of our African-American people’ – though I don’t think he should have added ‘once and for all.’” — Seth Meyers
5. “At a rally over the weekend, Donald Trump was surrounded by Secret Service agents after a man tried to rush the stage. The Secret Service said the man was dangerous and disturbed, but they had to protect him anyway. Proving once and for all, the best way to keep everyone safe and sound is to build a wall around Donald Trump.” — Jimmy Fallon
4. “In an interview this morning, Donald Trump said mosques need to be ‘watched and studied’ because he believes they may spread hateful views. In related news, Donald Trump needs to be watched and studied.” — Seth Meyers
3. “Bernie Sanders picked up his fourth union endorsement this week from the Amalgamated Transit Union. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has yet to pick up any union endorsements, but does have several from The Confederacy.” — Seth Meyers
2. “A protester had to be escorted out of a Donald Trump rally last night for yelling, ‘Trump’s a racist.’ The protester was removed because the Trump campaign has that phrase copyrighted.” — Seth Meyers
1. “I’m voting for Hillary, because better the devil you know…than the Actual Devil!”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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So Zeppelin won. A jury found that the group did not copy the chords in “Stairway to Heaven” from the band Spirit’s song “Taurus.” [Read more →]
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WARNING: Reading Phyllis Chesler’s book “Living History: On the Front Lines for Israel and the Jews” may be hazardous to your sense of well-being. It could lead to increased levels of skepticism. This, in turn could lead to a variety of side-effects … a willingness on your part to question what we are told about the world around us, to make an extra effort to gain more information. You may even find yourself rejecting what ‘everybody knows and believes,’ in favor of a view that is more complicated, more detailed … and perhaps more truthful. [Read more →]
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10. Crocked Spaniel
9. Spitz Schlitz
8. Bowser Boozer
7. Doberman Pilsner
6. Malt-ese
5. Pug Mug
4. Aledale
3. Coor-gi
2. Here’s Mutt In Your Eye
1. Shit-faced Shih Tzu
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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