10. The only thing on the resort’s TV was health class videos about STDs

9. Your beach was still covered with oil slicks and tar balls

8. To get into your room, you had to break through some yellow police tape

7. So you could eat, the staff lent you a video of Hillbilly Handfishin’

6. The only alcohol you had was in the Nyquil the resort doctor gave you

5. The package was seven days, three nights

4. What you thought was a mint left on your pillow suddenly crawled away

3. Instead of Puerto Vallarta, you spent the week at the Port Authority

2. The only ‘action’ you got was the speed bumps your taxi ran over

1. Rick Santorum recommended your resort as “a good Christian alternative”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, travel & foreign lands by Bob Sullivan
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The first time I saw Alexander Shishkin, the greatest Adolf Hitler lookalike in the history of the planet, I was in awe. This tall, cadaverous man didn’t just look like Hitler, he looked like a Hitler that had died and been dug up again. It was eerie: the sunken cheekbones, the severe parting and of course the black moustache were almost enough to persuade you that Hitler was indeed back from the dead. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, travel & foreign lands by Daniel Kalder
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We’re heading out to sea after an all-too-brief visit to San Juan, Puerto Rico. A lot of us are clustered on the starboard side of the ship, enjoying some great shots of Castilio de San Moro, one of the iconic images of this city and of Puerto Rico. It’s an opportunity for some great photos with an offshore perspective of the old battlements.

But it’s also a reminder that I have to get back here again, someday … and when I do, to plan on staying longer. Today’s visit really WAS all-too-brief, and I had barely scratched the surface of all there is to see and do in this city, not to mention other parts of this island.
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Tags: travel & foreign lands by Jeff McDonald
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Our fourth day at sea aboard the Carnival Glory brought us to the U.S Virgin Islands of St. Thomas and St. John’s, a place where we enjoyed wonderful sailing across incredibly blue waters, some reasonably-priced bottles of some reasonably-good beer, and a chance to admire one of the largest private motor yachts in the world … talk about something for everyone!

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Tags: travel & foreign lands by Jeff McDonald
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The first port o’ call on our cruise, bright and early on a Tuesday morning, was the city of Nassau, in the Bahamas. Our first port o’ call, but also the last stop on our journey for the fourth-and-a-half member of our company, Junior Steeler.
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Tags: travel & foreign lands by Jeff McDonald
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Maybe it’s the years I’ve now spent away from the coast, but a broad ocean vista has a tremendous appeal for me, a fascination. Our ship will be entirely at sea today, en route from yesterday’s port to tomorrow’s. So from first light to last, there is nothing out there but the sea and the sky and the straight line dividing the two … and I’m enjoying every minute of it.
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Tags: travel & foreign lands by Jeff McDonald
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Each year, as we move into March, a common topic of discussion around the workplace and around town is some variation of … “so, you got plans for Spring Break?” This is usually followed by some analysis of what we are doing, what we could be doing, what we should be doing, and so on.

This year, though, our announced plans to take a cruise are followed by some analysis of safety issues, whether we are concerned about going out to sea, and the difficulties that could arise therefrom.
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Tags: travel & foreign lands by Jeff McDonald
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One look at me, and it’s obvious that food is a big – perhaps TOO big – part of my enjoyment of life. That includes my time on the move, traveling, which I’m preparing to do later this month. Looking at our itinerary, I’m already looking forward to making a couple of stops at places I’ve seen on the Travel Channel.

TC has three shows on their prime time lineup devoted largely to food at various locations around the country and around the world. Two of them – Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and Andrew Zimmern’s “Bizarre Foods” – are really, REALLY good, and encourage me to set my feet and my palate along the paths they have followed. Then there’s then there’s Adam Richman’s “Man vs. Food” … oh, well – two outta three ain’t bad.
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Tags: diatribes, television, travel & foreign lands by Jeff McDonald
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Recently I started a daily ritual of watching Euronews after dinner. I’m not sure why I find the channel so absorbing, as when I actually lived in Europe I found it incredibly dull. And not dull in a smug, irritating BBC way but just… soul-crushingly boring, as is characteristic of anything that begins with the chilling prefix “Euro-”. Perhaps it’s only now, after years spent in a land where the news is delivered exclusively by pompous, Botoxed egomaniacs that I can appreciate the channel’s relatively understated style. Or then again, maybe I’m just digging the stuff I can see in the backgrounds. [Read more →]

Tags: terror & war, travel & foreign lands, trusted media & news by Daniel Kalder
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Following the recent street protests in Russia, international attention has been focused on the country’s political scene. A young person tuning in to the news coverage might be confused by all the long names ending with –ov and –sky, and the series of heads that resemble slabs of meat, lumpy potatoes or some other comestible. Too much of the commentary is targeted at initiates; beginners need a jumping on point. After all, today’s 20 year olds were barely crawling the last time Vladimir Zhirinovsky scored serious headlines in the West. So strap on your shapka and let’s go! [Read more →]

Tags: travel & foreign lands, trusted media & news by Daniel Kalder
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Recently I was browsing in a used book store when I stumbled upon a soldier’s Japanese phrasebook from World War II. Between faded orange covers I found a treasure trove of fascinating words and phrases- certainly it’s the most useful text published by the U.S. War Department I’ve encountered since that pamphlet on sexual hygiene for GIs I found in a Texas ghost town a few years back. It does lack for detailed diagrams of human genitalia, however.

Like most phrasebooks it contains all the standard terminology related to greetings, asking for directions and finding lodgings, but the structure and at least half of the language is strictly determined by the context of war. Thus it begins not with “Hello” and “My name is…” but rather a set of “Emergency Expressions” the very first of which is: [Read more →]

Tags: ends & odd, travel & foreign lands by Daniel Kalder
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The year 2011 was an alarming one for dictators, as a series of mass uprisings toppled several authoritarian regimes in the Middle East. The so-called “Arab Spring” inspired wild hopes, with some optimists even declaring that the 20th century phenomenon of the dictator was finished, and a new era of democracy was dawning- just like in Eastern Europe in 1989. True? False? Let’s survey the Year in Dictators and find out! [Read more →]

Tags: politics & government, travel & foreign lands, trusted media & news by Daniel Kalder
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Sometime around the arrest of Mikhail Khodorkovsky, a long period of abject Western media failure regarding the Putin phenomenon began. Journalists were so busy making fatuous comparisons to Stalin or hyping The New Cold War™ that they refused to address why the president was so popular in Russia. I suspect this is because many of them missed the 1990s, when Americans and Europeans had enjoyed near godlike status. Yeltsin had been no catastrophe for them, even if he was for 99.99% of everybody else.

However, Putin was genuinely popular and until a few weeks ago seemed unassailable. A generous man might read this as proof of success: that life in Russia has improved to the point where citizens are no longer willing to accept corruption in exchange for stability. When I lived in Russia, I attended some entirely futile anti-government rallies comprised of pensioners, punks and nationalists; the latest protests are larger, much more diverse and the Kremlin obviously hasn’t decided what to do about them…yet. [Read more →]

Tags: travel & foreign lands, trusted media & news by Daniel Kalder
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For me, like most people, memory is intricately intertwined with music. Another Brick in the Wall pt 2 was a hit the year I started school, and so the song always resurrects those early experiences of classroom tedium. Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus,playing on the ferry that brought me from England to Holland in 1986, summons textures of my first trip abroad from the sinkhole of amnesia; while Kraftwerk’s Radioactivity is forever fused with a 6am walk I took around Amsterdam ‘s Schipol airport. Endlessly and subjectively I can listen to a track and landscapes, people, places and moods return.

What is the mechanism behind this? I don’t care. I note only that the links in the chain of music and memory are almost always forged accidentally- standing in a shop, watching TV, sitting in a café. When I was travelling in Central Asia a few years ago however I decided to conduct an experiment- I would intentionally fuse some music with the landscape to use as an aid to memory later. [Read more →]

Tags: art & entertainment, music, travel & foreign lands by Daniel Kalder
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In June 2009, I found myself glued to the TV set, watching the crowds in Tehran protesting the rigged reelection of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as president of Iran. I was amazed that things seemed to be falling apart so quickly for the motley crew of thugs, thieves, killers and millenarian fantasists that run the country. After all, their despotic regime was only 30 years old, and at that age the USSR was in the full, terrifying flower of Stalinism. It would be another four decades before it collapsed due to institutional senility and internal decay.

Tags: travel & foreign lands, trusted media & news by Daniel Kalder
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I recently took a press trip to Scotland, where I spent four nights in four different hotels. All four were delightful (Edinburgh’s The Balmoral, The Fairmont St Andrews, a Taymouth Estate cottage, and Edinburgh’s The George Hotel) and I recommend each of them highly with one caveat: stay more than one night. Or at least, if you stay a single evening, stay later than 9am the next day. In the attempt to see as much of England’s Canada (only sassy) as possible, my group was forced to ignore this simple guideline, with the result I discovered the one thing I do worse than packing is re-packing and in the process acquired a strange sympathy for the higher-end rock bands of the world (we’re talking at least Kings of Leon level). [Read more →]

Tags: travel & foreign lands by Sean Cunningham
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Recently I travelled 3700 miles by car, from Massachusetts to Minnesota, then south to Missouri, and back again. Allowing for the time spent in Minneapolis, the journeyed portion of the trip was only six days. A little over 600 miles a day with many halts and a few wrong turns. It is a small accomplishment I understand, in this modern age, or in the larger scheme of things–even in my own life–but was done for reasons important to me. I had hoped for some perspective on what was to be, and was indeed, a great event, and found more than enough to please me. [Read more →]

Tags: travel & foreign lands by Vincent McCaffrey
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Like many children of the Cold War, I grew up anxious about Nuclear Armageddon, so when Gorbachev eased relations between the USSR and the West I was grateful. For many years I viewed him as a hero, pure and simple. It was not until I moved to Russia that I realized his reforms had been intended to strengthen the USSR, not destroy it.

Oops.

Gorbachev had a rough ride in his homeland in the 1990s, where he was almost universally despised. These days he appears to have settled into the role of Russia’s Jimmy Carter: well- meaning, not quite forgiven, but no threat. [Read more →]

Tags: travel & foreign lands, trusted media & news by Daniel Kalder
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10. Speculating how far it was to India

9. Having a three-way race, with the Pinta taking the lead

8. Passing around suggestive drawings of Queen Isabella

7. Polishing the mizzenmast

6. Buffing the plank

5. Waxing the harpoon

4. Oiling the cannon

3. Wondering if they’d get Columbus Day off

2. Holding their weekly ‘couples only’ dance

1. Sudoku! Sudoku! Sudoku!
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, travel & foreign lands by Bob Sullivan
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Last week, I explained everything that led up to my first day in Ireland. To be honest, last week’s blog was pretty boring. This week I am going to tell you about everything that happened on my three week trip to Ireland where I volunteered at a camp for children. It involves beer, a scary Polish girl, car bombs, Austrian musicians, a dead bird, and Evander Holyfield’s chomped off ear. Sit back, and let me take you to the rolling green hills of Ireland! [Read more →]

Tags: Marty digs, travel & foreign lands by Marty O'Connor
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