10. “I’m no racist! My basketball team is well over half black!”
9. “Poor people and middle-class people are racists; billionaires are just eccentric.”
8. “I’m no more racist than my good buddy, Cliven Bundy.”
7. “How can I be a bigot? My girlfriend who taped me is half black.”
6. “In 1983 I asked a potential new coach, ‘What makes you think you can coach these n*ggers?’ In 2009 I was fined $2.73 million for housing discrimination – the largest such payment in U.S. history – claiming that the blacks in my building ‘smelled’ and ‘aren’t clean’. At least I’m consistent!”
5. “I’m was hoping my remarks would make me a front-runner for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination.”
4. “Since when do you get in trouble for doing a Paula Deen impression?”
3. “I once got a Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People! (Oooooo, I love saying ‘colored people’!)”
2. “How can I be a racist when, only last week, the U.S. Supreme Court held that racism in this country is a thing of the past?”
1. “I just believe in calling a spade a spade.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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