10. Enchantment Under the Bleachers
9. An Evening to Forget
8. Crepe Paper, Bunting, And That Gym Sock Smell!
7. Save the Last Dance for Your Hot Friend
6. Dry Hump Dreams
5. Goodbye Textbooks! Hello Minimum Wage!
4. Herpes-palooza!
3. Moon Over Abu Ghraib
2. A Midsummer’s Night Grope
1. Memories to Last a Nighttime
10. He’s wearing a disabled electronic ankle bracelet
9. The title of his talk: “Your Future at Hamburger U.”
8. His entire speech is in the dits and dahs of Morse Code
7. His speech is half over, and he’s already mentioned Scientology 63 times
6. First name: Rod. Last name: Blagojevich.
5. After introducing his imaginary friend Pedro, he sits by while Pedro delivers a 90-minute address
4. You recognize him from when he sold you a Slurpee last night at your local 7-Eleven
3. He keeps referring to Barack Obama as the “leader of the Great Satan”
2. His ultimate uplifting message: “If life hands you shit, make shit sandwiches”
1. He spends two hours talking about the superiority of Amway products
Wednesday, May 6, 2009, is Hump Day for our national Teacher Appreciation Week, a week we appreciate only on weekdays — May 4 to May 8 — according to the Yahoo note which informed me of such week last night.
So I arose this morning not with the alacrity, wit, and wide smile of some of my favorite educators; rather, I experienced an acute anxiety attack as I understood I had not yet done enough to appreciate teachers this week. [Read more →]
Two years ago, on April 16, 2007, Virginia Tech was the scene of a heinous shooting rampage. Soon after, I wrote the below essay, which was published as the cover story in Liberty magazine in July 2007. [Read more →]
As a college professor I believe that most students are hard working and honest, but invariably there are those who are not. My official policy is as follows: If I catch you cheating, you fail the course, not just the assignment. Harsh? Yes. Unfair? No. [Read more →]
Chesterfield County, Virginia, is facing some tough times. While that hardly makes the area unique, it is of particular interest because the school district is facing a massive $52 million shortfall and is looking to cut over 300 positions from the public schools.
The district comprises 38 elementary schools, 14 middle schools, 11 high schools, and a technical center. If the cuts were distributed evenly, it would come out to nearly 5 positions per school. And in government work, seniority and tenure mean a lot, so the newest teachers are the ones who will most likely be on the streets.
A recent letter to the Editor of the Chesterfield Observer suggests it be done differently: [Read more →]
Watching the news of a sit-in at NYU last week got me thinking about how lame today’s college students are and, of course, what fictional character can be blamed. Sure, it would be easy to point to the men of Delta house as the example to which some collegians aspire, and fail, to emulate by wearing t-shirts that read “College.” But, that’s not quite accurate. The culprit behind the decline of modern education is actually even less subtle.
Our man is Thornton Mellon, from the film Back To School, one of the most underrated films of the 1980s. I say he is less subtle because he has the unique distinction of being the only fictional character that I can think of that is actually accused of in the film what I am actually accusing him of. In an early part of the film, Mellon’s economics professor and romantic rival, Dr. Phillip Barbay — a stuffy middle aged man with some sort of British accent, whose fetishes includes having women dress up as Wonder Woman and tie him up with the golden lariat and force him to tell the truth — sums it up: “That… is Mr. Thornton Mellon. The world’s oldest living freshman… and the walking epitome of the decline in modern education. The stupid clod thinks he can buy his way out of the gutter,” he quips to Sally Kellerman’s character, who is the love interest of both men. (I mean, Sally Kellerman? As Rodney Dangerfield said in another movie — “She must have been something before electricity.”)
People of a certain age always complain that the kids today aren’t as smart as they were or don’t take school as seriously as they should. [Read more →]
As the Industrial Age recedes farther into America’s past and the Information Age becomes our universal experience, municipalities are understandably concerned with lowering the high school dropout rate. There are fewer jobs for dropouts than in the past, and communities are worried about what it takes to prepare their youth for the future. They are also worried about their own progressive images, but let’s not be so cynical as to focus on that side of things… let’s focus on the genuine concern that the system is failing; that large numbers of students are dropping out and forming a population of criminals or, at best, helpless government wards living on the dole. [Read more →]
Paula: Having read the discussion of how teaching evaluations affect tenure in universities in this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine, I was struck by the implicit assumption on the part of the aggrieved teachers and of the reporter that it is fine to air personal political views in class — that this is part of the initiation of students into various viewpoints.
But it has always been my assumption that the role of the teacher is to hold back — at least to some degree — on personal views so as to give the students a chance to explore more objectively. I suppose this is the conventional, traditional view, though as some profs point out, the seemingly “objective” view can also be implicitly politicized.
Still, I see objectivity — or nonalignment (perhaps a better way of putting it) — as the ideal. I do think that so-called “enthusiasm” is sometimes a euphemism for zealotry. When enthusiasm is linked to a particular political position it is not a positive value in a teacher and can instead be a form of bullying and coercion — and students can rightfully resent it.
Robert: I want to challenge the premise of your statement above. [Read more →]
My cousin will graduate from the nursing program at Ball State University today. Last night I went to the pinning ceremony and was the first to stand in ovation when the audience was invited to acknowledge the accomplishments of the 2008 baccalaureates. I stood because she is one of the dearest people in my life. I stood because she has overcome seemingly insurmountable odds, and despite all, she has achieved her dream. I stood because she is graduating with honors at the top of her class.
Other than those attending with me, applauding our particular graduate, I don’t know why everyone else stood up when I did. [Read more →]
Stephen Dubner of Freakonomics Blog notes that “there aren’t many goods and services in this country that you can’t significantly upgrade if you have the money.”
Of course. That’s part of the American Way — the wealthy are able to afford better goods and services than are the poor. This is the type of thing that people lament when they are relatively poor, but then relish in when they have some money. In fact, it’s the whole point of dragging oneself out of poverty — to live a more comfortable life. The wealthy can have better cars, better clothes, better communities, and better schools.
Yes, better schools. Higher income areas generally have better school facilities, in an effort to provide a better educational experience to the children of the well-to-do. [Read more →]
You’ve probably heard by now about the awful incident at Binghamton University (my alma mater), where a 6’9, 280 lb. sophomore center on the basketball team stomped on the head of a 5’9, 130 lb. senior. The smaller man now lies in near-comatose state
To make matters worse, the basketball player, Miladin Kovacevic — with the help of his parents and Serbian consulate officials — has fled to his native Serbia and is fighting extradition. Kovacevic’s mother said, “My son is not running away from justice, he’s running away from injustice,” while CNN.com also reports that, “Kovacevic’s parents said their son was threatened and disdained because of his nationality and they felt they had to rescue him.”
Injustice is afoot, but not the kind the fugitive’s mother speaks of.
The victim, Bryan Steinhauer, a Brooklyn-raised accounting major, is “unable to drink or eat on his own. “ His father says, “He has enough awareness to realize what situation he is in, especially when he sees us…He starts yelling out and crying out with a tortured look on his face. He’s starting to realize what has happened to him.”
All this over a girl who may have been pinched or groped. All this at one of America’s best state universities. All this two weeks before graduation. Injustice indeed. [Read more →]
The AP reports that the math skills of American students would be better if elementary school teachers had math skills to begin with. Now before we delve into this topic, let me state for the record that I am a high school physics teacher. From my position, it would be easy to blame the poor math skills of my students on their math teachers. I have students who can’t math their way out of a paper bag, and I take a lot of time every year to teach basic algebra (solve for x) to students who should have those skills before walking in my door. I sometimes resent that my time to teach my own subject is eaten up with mathematical remediation — and not just for a few individuals, but for a large percentage of even the honors students. There isn’t even an argument regarding whether my students lack sufficient math skills. But it isn’t their fault. I am not being facetious when I say that. The fact is that somebody along the way failed to teach them. [Read more →]
Dear Readers,
This is my letter to the editor of the Atlantic, regarding the article that was written by one Professor X, titled “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower.” My interpretation/summary: the author believes that not everyone is equipped, or worthy of pursuing a college education. And it’s America’s fault; it’s the higher education system’s fault. It’s everyone’s fault, except his. Poor, poor, tortured adjunct pseudo-intellectual, who tries so hard to lift heathen souls out of the abyss…what a gift you bestow on the wretched by gracing them with your presence in the classroom.
In any case, the article has caused quite a stir, and if I had my way, I would stir the brains of Professor X with an asp — a metaphorical one, of course.
