10. “Mom, we kind of always assumed you were our father.”
9. “I’m taking you out to dinner, but we have to hurry; Taco Bell closes at nine.”
8. “What do you mean, ‘What is it?’ – It’s a nose hair trimmer!”
7. “Here’s all the ingredients for a fantastic Mother’s Day dinner. All you have to do is cook it!”
6. “And you are…?”
5. “Uncle Dad knows about us!”
4. “Of course these flowers aren’t stolen from a funeral home. That banner just means, when you go to bed tonight, I hope you rest peacefully.”
3. “Mom, I have a surprise for you: I’m adopted!!”
2. “Here’s your gift, Mom: a DVD of Oedipus Rex –you sexy thing you!”
1. “Honey, I’m afraid the kids now have a new Mom. Her name used to be Bruce.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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