Here are some things that are not art forms: pitching, cooking, teaching, engineering, fishing, farming, parenting, managing, coaching, conversation, seduction, karate, carpentry, nursing, disk-jockeying, editing, belching, annoying people, grooming dogs, bar-tending, Scrabble, boxing, cobbling and surgery. Have I offended anyone? If so, why? [Read more →]
10. Night of the Living Bed
9. The Invisible Pants
8. Close Encounters of the Kinky Kind
7. The Sexth Sense
6. The Martians Are Cumming! The Martians Are Cumming!
5. Last Whorehouse on the Left
4. Hello, Weenie!
3. The ‘O’ Man
2. The Bare Bitch Project
1. The Triple-Ex-orcist
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
TMZ is reporting that GQ magazine’s recent “racy” photographs of some of the performers from the television show “Glee” has drawn the ire of a group called the Parents Television Council. They have made the provocative claim that the images border on pedophilia:
The Parents Television Council has released a statement thrashing producers for allowing Dianna Agron, Cory Monteith and Lea Michele to participate in a “hyper-sexualized” photo shoot for the November issue of GQ — despite the fact that both actresses are 24 years old and Corey is 28.
The PTC declares, “It is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way. It borders on pedophilia.”
Here is one of the images:
I define my Broadway adolescence as my fifth through fifteenth shows*. During this period I remember feeling an exhilaration similar to that of my first boy/girl parties at which I learned that girls’ waists felt tingly when you danced with them, that hearts could literally ache, and that the words “I love you” could be uttered with perfect sincerity to a girl in your class whom you wouldn’t have even noticed the year before. Am I smearing it on too thick? Well, imagine this:
I thought it would be difficult for The Social Network to live up to all that hype. I was wrong. Excellent writing, directing and performances, along with a compelling story, make The Social Network an almost perfect movie.
Based on Ben Mezrich’s book (“The Accidental Billionaires”), Aaron Sorkin’s screenplay tells a version of the birth of Facebook at Harvard University, its staggering growth and ensuing legal battles. [Read more →]
Recently, I got an email that I thought my “Artistic Unknowns” readers might want to see. The writer identified himself only as “None of Your Business”. Anyway, here it is:
Dear Chris,
You are one of those music guys, so I thought you might be interested in my problem: A while ago, I found out that Elton John is gay. Now this might not be a big deal to you artsy types, but it had a profound effect on me. [Read more →]
This week, as October is flying by us, and Phillies playoff baseball has me in a tizzy, and yesterday’s Eagles game tailgate has me almost in a coma, I am digging Phineas and Ferb and the last day of the month Halloween.
TLC, the network that has brought us reality shows about little people, families with multiple children, and polygamists, has finally created what must be its ultimate television show, entitled “The Three Little Plygs.” Its first episode premiered last night and let me tell you it was exactly as thought-provoking, humorous, and exciting as real life.
The show tells the story of the Popinjay family. They’re just like you and me, except for a few superficial differences. First of all, they’re a family of little people. Second of all, they’re polygamists. Third of all, every one of the “sister wives” has given birth to multiples.
As the husband, John, is fond of saying (he seems to say this or some variant to the camera every five minutes), “Love should multiply, even a little.”
10. Listen to Frédéric Chopin’s “Minute Waltz” 60 times
9. Get all your exercise out of the way for the rest of the year
8. Write another long rambling letter to Justin Bieber
7. Watch the Fox News Channel until you vomit
6. Cook 20 three-minute eggs
5. Sudoku! Sudoku! Sudoku!
4. Try to re-set the clock on your VCR
3. Watch “The Best of Jersey Shore” 120 times
2. Get a tattoo of Cloris Leachman on your butt cheek
1. Make love to your wife, then rest the other 59 minutes
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Mad Men ended its fourth season tonight with a typically spellbinding episode, an Old Fashioned-drenched and smoke-shrouded punch to the gut that left no doubt as to the best show currently on television.
We have all been, at one time or another, victims of poor customer service. The idea that “the customer is always right” seems to be something of the past although many companies seem to be getting the message that the customer will vote with their wallets if they don’t get what they want. So while things may be improving in some areas, there must be some reason why customer service was allowed to get so bad for so long.
For this I turn your attention to the 1988 film Big, starring Tom Hanks. [Read more →]
Last March I was at the TKTS line with my wife, Gail, and my sister-in-law, Helaine, and we were trying to figure out what to see. Nothing on the board grabbed us. What we really wanted was A View from the Bridge, but with the ecstatic reviews and the movie stars Liev Schreiber and Scarlett Johansson in the lead roles it would be absurd to imagine that seats would be available for half price. We contemplated walking to the box office and seeing if there might be three seats left at the absurd full price, but Gail suggested we ask one of the TKTS line people if it ever appeared on the board. In the interest of a harmonious marriage, I have learned to not roll my eyes at my wife’s foolish ideas. So we asked. [Read more →]
Philip Seymour Hoffman gives yet another excellent performance and makes an equally impressive film directing debut. Hoffman reprises his role in his Labyrinth Theater Company’s production of Robert Glaudini’s play (Glaudini also wrote the screenplay here). Jack Goes Boating is a small film about relationships where the little things can change lives. The four leads shine in this quiet and moving film. [Read more →]
Ooooh, girl, did you hear the news? Courteney Cox and her husband David Arquette, of the Los Angeles Arquettes, have decided to separate. Somewhere, Jennifer Aniston is throwing her arms up to the heavens and shouting “Yes! I’m no longer the saddest former Friend!” Don’t worry, Jenny, that title has long been reserved for Matt LeBlanc. Anyway, in their statement to the press, the Cox-Arquettes said they hope that “friends, family, fans and the media also show us respect, dignity, understanding and love at this time as well.” What better way to show my respect, dignity, understanding and love than by offering Courteney the benefit of my advice? Oh it feels so good to give. [Read more →]
Ted Williams said that “hitting [a baseball] is fifty percent above the shoulders.” Yeah, see, there’s the problem. You can be physically athletic and still never excel because of what goes on in your thinkosphere as the pitcher winds up, or as the pass comes to you, or as you approach a hurdle. This is why even physically talented artistic kids can have trouble with sports, but it is also why they can become fans who reap deeper rewards than most. [Read more →]
In recent years I have developed a small obsession. With the help of the Internet Broadway Database, I have compiled a list of Broadway shows I have seen.
I don’t mean road companies. I don’t mean local productions of shows that appeared on Broadway.
As I type this I realize I must sound like something akin to a bagel snob. [Read more →]
Davis Guggenheim takes on the public education system in the United States, in much the same way he took on global warming in his 2006 An Inconvenient Truth. But the villains here are not so clear. Waiting for Superman has attracted the attention of both Time magazine and Oprah, and the education problem certainly merits the attention. This documentary has plenty of drama and shocking information, but Guggenheim grossly oversimplifies this complex problem. In spite of this, it is a film well worth seeing. [Read more →]
So I was walking down the street on Saturday, leaving a voice message on my friend’s cell phone when something I saw stopped me in my tracks, mid-sentence: The advertisement for A&E’s new show “Teach: Tony Danza.” Apparently, it’s his toughest role yet. If you’ve seen this ad you might have assumed, as I did, that this is some lame prime time drama series starring Tony Danza as a teacher but no! You’re wrong. You’re so wrong! It’s – guys, I’m so excited to share this with you that I can barely type – a reality show about Tony Danza actually teaching! Yes! Teaching people’s children! If you didn’t see the first episode, I’ll sum up what you need to know: Tony Danza has a degree in history and always wanted to be a teacher. And since we Americans give celebrities anything they want, the administrators of Northeast High School in Philadelphia said “Sure, what’s the worst that could happen?” Allow me to stop writing while I finish laughing.
Ok, I’m back. Now, I could spend my time with you this week commenting on how unfair it is that while Philly is struggling to find the funds necessary to keep their best educators from being laid off, someone who lists “tap dancing” in the skills section of his resume is just handed a job teaching tenth grade English. But I remember well the baptism-by-fire that is your first year as an educator so Tony, I’m going to take pity on you and give you ten golden nuggets of advice, from one former teacher to a future former teacher. [Read more →]
Complaining about the cruel, insensitive world is a norm for creative artists. So is blaming that world for their own obscurity. The thing is, about 98.34% of artists who complain about their plight have no right to. If you want to whine about why you didn’t “make it” and be free of my judgment (and who doesn’t?), you will need to meet certain standards. Otherwise, stop flapping your artsy-fartsy gums and get back to creating. [Read more →]
Sometimes when I sit down to blog about a certain album I am enjoying, I have to really catch myself. Does my opinion count? I mean, how hip can a 5’7 pudgy white guy be? I spent the past Friday night getting Chili’s Chips and Salsa take out and watching Die Hard 2. But I do try to keep my finger on the energy drink fueled pulse of our nation’s youth. [Read more →]
