Dear Ruby –

How does one politely decline pressures to join those annoying online social networks? Myspace pages look like crap and play songs you don’t want to hear automatically when you open the page. Facebook is for the kids, and I’m in my forties. I’m convinced LinkedIn has done nothing to advance anybody’s career or business. And I’m told being a Netflix Friend involves seeing each other’s movie queues . . . if a guy wants to watch Poison Ivy III to see Jaime Pressly naked why would he want to share that knowledge with friends insisting he immerse himself in the French New Wave?

It’s easy to avoid joining things in the real world as if you continually fail to show up, people eventually leave you alone. Such an approach doesn’t seem to work with the online groups. Is there a simple way to deal with these nudges in my inbox to be part of online communities?

Thanks, Herm

Dear Herm,
You’re not alone. Everyone with friends, family, coworkers and an email address has probably been invited to network in this strangely static, and faceless way.

I used to get in a dither when LinkedIn invitations came in, especially from higher ups. I used to wonder about my Classmates enough to surf around that site, and I’ve acquired one of those creepy Netflix friends (thank God she’s stopped asking me why I keep adding Shaun of the Dead to my queue).

So I pulled the plug. I don’t explain, I ignore. I’ve got a folder full of unanswered invites, and yet . . . I still get asked to parties, I still get calls from friends. I haven’t been fired or cold-shouldered at the water cooler.

Ask yourself a question. Do you remember how you felt when a cute girl or cool senior offered you his or her yearbook to sign? Did they call you later to offer you a great job or free sex?

My advice, Herm? Screw it. If pressed, tell them you have a social networking firewall — and then find somebody designing one and buy stock. By the way, those French new wave films? Full of naked people. Just saying.

Ruby

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