Alternative names for Trump’s “Department of War”

Scott Stein,

As the president signs an executive order to change the name of the Department of Defense to the Department of War, we managed to get our hands on other names that were being considered.

  • Department of I Can Do Whatever I Want I’m The President of the United States
  • Department of Invading American Cities to Pick Up Trash
  • Department of I Like War Heroes Who Weren’t Captured
  • Department of You Voted for This
  • Department of Losers and Suckers
  • Department of a Lot of People are Saying ‘Maybe We’d Like a Dictator’
  • Department of Susan Collins is Very Concerned
  • Department of We’re Going In
  • Department of Destroying Every Windmill Because Why Not
  • Department of Birthday Parades
  • Department of You’ll Probably All Die from Measles Anyway

 

Scott Stein

Scott Stein's most recent novels are The Great American Deception, which received a starred review from Publishers Weekly, and The Great American Betrayal, which Vulture.com named one of "The Best Comedy Books of 2022." His older novels are Lost and Mean Martin Manning and his short satire and fiction have been published in The Oxford University Press Humor Reader, McSweeney's,The G.W. Review, Points in Case, Liberty, National Review, and Art Times. He is a professor of English at Drexel University. His author site is scottsteinonline.com and you can find him on Bluesky at sstein.bsky.social.
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