Aw, ain’t that cute?: Kid blackmails Santa for luxury car

Aw, ain’t that cute?: Kid blackmails Santa for luxury car

Posted on December 20th, 2019 by Scott Warnock

Not many people love the holiday season more than me. Very few things are capable of bothering me this time of year.

On that exception list is luxury car commercials.

My new most despised ad is the one in which a little smart-ass kid in pajamas catches Santa unawares, placing gifts under the tree, and snaps a picture of the jolly old elf’s rear end.

A surprised Santa, erroneously and foolishly assuming good will on the part of the rat, hastily says that the photo should be deleted. He offers the kid toys and rewards, but, no, the little rot wants Santa’s “sled”: The camera pans to a red luxury car. The commercial’s composers had the audacity to have the kid toss in a “please” when making this demand, as if someone like this has “please” in their vocabulary.

Santa hesitates and pleads, and then our sweet young blackmailer waves the phone, threatening how much of “a shame” it would be if the image went viral.

The commercial ends with the parents looking at their brat sitting in the car, with a befuddled dad (are there anything but befuddled dads in commercials?) commenting that the kid was “pretty good this year.” Santa? I guess he’s going to be a little late this Christmas for all the rest of the children in the world. Good for this family, though!

Now, I should not be advocating violence in this space, especially around the holidays, but would a nice open-hand slap be too much to ask for Santa to deliver? Maybe it need not be as crushing as the one that recently brought down a Russian slapping champion, but maybe just enough to let the kid know there are repercussions for being a jerk.

It might even save the kid a world of trouble later in life.

You may wonder why I’m watching commercials anyway, but as I watched this repulsive advertising bit, it dawned on me that the company spent a lot of money to get it made and aired. I find it incredible, because, to me, I sat there thinking: Who finds this message even remotely cute and attractive? Who on earth would see that commercial and think, “This is the life I want?”

I know, I’m taking it way too seriously, but I just read a piece in this month’s The Atlantic titled “Stop Trying to Raise Successful Kids: And start raising kind ones.” It said:

Kids learn what’s important to adults not by listening to what we say, but by noticing what gets our attention. And in many developed societies, parents now pay more attention to individual achievement and happiness than anything else. However much we praise kindness and caring, we’re not actually showing our kids that we value these traits.

Tongue in cheek or not, there’s an ethos at work here that without question must resonate with people: If you can catch someone at a disadvantage, even Old St. Nick, Strike!

Kindness never enters the equation. There’s a way of being that is promoted that says that it’s the spoils that matter, not how you got them.

Oh well, back to the egg nog and wrapping presents my wife bought for herself. And no matter what car you covet, no matter what sleigh you drive, happy holidays and merry Christmas!

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Scott Warnock

Scott Warnock is a writer and teacher who lives in South Jersey. He is a professor of English at Drexel University, where he is also the Associate Dean of Undergraduate Education in the College of Arts and Sciences. Father of three and husband of one, Scott is president of a local high school education foundation and spent many years coaching youth sports.