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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingenvironment & nature

Now that Spring is here, top ten signs your house could use a good spring cleaning

10. Your “lace curtains” seem to be catching an unusually large number of flies

9. After a mudslide swept through your house, it actually looked better

8. Your “bean bag chair” is made of accumulated lint

7. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses won’t come inside

6. Your “dust bunnies” have all been devoured by “dust bobcats”

5. You’ve lost three pets and a nephew to indoor avalanches

4. Something keeps slamming your refrigerator door shut…from the inside!

3. When somebody asks, “What died in here?” you give them a list

2. You wipe your feet on the mat before stepping outside

1. Now that Trump is gutting the EPA, you’re hoping they’ll finally stop sending you warning letters
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

health & medical

Grimly plausible question of the day: is the President showing early signs of dementia?

May I be wrong.

May I be so wrong.

Having been through this with many beloved relatives including multiple grandparents, it’s not something I wish on anybody, no matter what I may think of them personally. No one deserves to lose their identity—no one’s loved ones should be forced to witness them going through this loss.

That noted, reading Donald Trump’s interview in TIME, it’s hard not to think that something’s… off.

Understand: Trump is at risk. An estimated one in ten Americans over 65 has Alzheimer’s dementia. Trump is the oldest person ever to reach the presidency—he turns 71 on June 14. Beyond this, Trump’s own father had Alzheimer’s.

The Mayo Clinic has listed the signs of dementia. They include:
• Difficulty communicating or finding words
• Difficulty reasoning or problem-solving
• Confusion and disorientation
• Anxiety
• Inappropriate behavior
• Paranoia
• Agitation

At the risk of being blunt: does this sound like anyone we know?

[Read more →]

sportsvirtual children by Scott Warnock

Penn State’s Cael Sanderson shows what a coach should be

I watched the NCAA wrestling championships the other night and saw the stunning dominance of Penn State. The Nittany Lions won five (of 10, for you non-wrestling folks) individual national titles. Two of those guys beat two-time defending champs. Another was a redshirt freshman who took off the redshirt midway through the year. The other two are buzzsaws. The team won the national team title for the sixth time in seven years. [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten pun-liners

10. I bet the butcher fifty bucks he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf, but he said the steaks were too high.

9. When my wife kicked me out, I started living in a telephone booth, because I just wanted somewhere I could call home.

8. I made a chicken salad last night, but apparently they prefer to eat grain.

7. Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee looks larger and larger the closer it gets, and then it hit me!

6. I was hanging from the bridge when a rescue worker shouted, “Whatever you do, don’t look down!” – so I started smiling.

5. When people ask me why I wanted to be a film editor, I answer, “Well, to cut a long story short…”

4. I’ve just invented a working catapult, but it’s disguised as a sofa, so it tends to throw a lot of people.

3. While I was using the ATM, this little old gray-haired lady asked me if I’d help her check her balance, so I pushed her over.

2. I sent ten different puns into a local newspaper’s pun contest, hoping that one of them would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

1. Yesterday, on its last day, my best friend, who’s a dyslexic plumber, told me just how disappointed he was in this year’s Philadelphia Shower Flow.
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

ends & oddhealth & medical

It almost feels like a plan…

So, where did we leave off? I think I was in Atlanta (sort of). Two good things came out of that trip to Atlanta. Well, one for sure good thing and one possible good thing. The absolutely good thing was that I got to spend three days with a great friend. We caught up on about 10 years worth of news. In the past ten years I think we had seen each other 5 or 6 times, tops. It was pretty great. I’m bad at letting people help me, but she was extraordinarily helpful. Everyone should have someone just like her to accompany them to important third opinions with doctors. Sometimes she heard them say things that I missed, sometimes she reassured me that I heard what I thought I heard, and she took amazing notes that I have already gone back to many times. Thanks JJW, you’re the best.

The other potentially good thing? A lead on a Naturopath MD Oncologist. We’ll see how that turns out in a couple of weeks. The doc is super far away, but does phone consults (for a bajillion dollars, of course). Hopefully it will be worth it.

Other than those two things, that cancer center was not what I hoped. They do have a great Naturopath MD on staff, I liked her a lot. The surgeon that I met with, however, was the least pleasant consultation that I have had yet. By far. Real far. The biggest red flag for me was that the schedulers set me up with an appointment to have a chemo port put in before I ever even met with a doctor. Um, hello, what? And they kept ordering tests for me. The trouble I had with that was that I just wanted to speak with the doctors first. Also, everything there was out of network for my insurance. It was not going to be cheap. Had I done everything they asked, I would have had a port, an EKG, a bone density scan and a CT scan. I’m sure that if I were headed there after having a really bad experience somewhere else, or feeling like I was ready to just jump into treatment, that would have been fine. That’s not where I was, though, mentally. So, the twenty people who worked there and told me that I had “made the right choice” by seeking treatment there, just sounded creepy to me.

Meanwhile, I started to feel not as great as I was feeling the last few months. I came home and started trying to catch up after being gone for four days, and I still haven’t caught up. How many days has it been now? Ha! I haven’t had any energy. It doesn’t help that I’m still coughing from that flu we had. I think the cough made me think I was just still getting over something. Then on this past Tuesday I had a PET scan (ordered by Moffitt oncologist who speaks very quickly but is still my favorite of the three that I auditioned). The good news is that I am not riddled with cancer or anything crazy like that. It is still contained in the one boob and one lymph node. The bad news is the scan showed that there is something wrong with my thyroid. (So, I’m anemic, and my thyroid is out of wack. If you see me at the kid’s school, sleeping on the sidewalk, maybe just scoot me into a spot where I won’t get stepped on.) Endocrinologist, here I come!

The other bad news (at least I’m taking it that way at this point) is that “standard of care” requires that 2/3 of my surrounding lymph nodes have to be removed. All because of that one lymph that went astray. It seems excessive to me, and there are clinical trials going on to determine if that is really necessary, but that doesn’t help me now. Add to that the fact that they won’t build my bionic boob yet because they want to make sure I don’t need radiation first, and I’m a little annoyed with the process at the moment.

I do like to bright side things, though, and I finally have a date for surgery. April 10th. Mark your calendars, cause’ we’re having a raging kegger on the 9th and I will be topless! Gotta get the most use out of these before one is gone! Obviously, all but the surgery date is a joke. As long as my thyroid isn’t holding anything up, that’s the day.

I keep moving the goal line of my expectations, but it hasn’t reached the edge of the cliff yet, so there’s that! Actually, I still feel pretty stinking positive, maybe more than I did a month ago, maybe more than I should. Ha!

virtual children by Scott Warnock

Getting them there boys to read

As a little boy, I had a literate environment in my house, and I myself was a big reader. I remember material literacy moments, such as when I kept sneak-reading my mom’s thrillers, like By Reason of Insanity and The Omen. I recall scaring myself stupid with those books and then coming back for more. I remember how The Lord of Rings trilogy smelled. I remember hiding the Alien “graphic novel” (I mean, that’s what it was) because of the language. [Read more →]

musicreligion & philosophy

Suggestion for Church … Music for “Marching As to War”

The most recent national election has provided a new President of the United States – one with an attitude and goals that some within the Presbyterian Church USA find alarming … to say the least!

Through the world wide web and with the assistance of internet applications, a number of my ‘virtual’ acquaintances within the denomination have shared their concerns – their dread, even – over the developing situation … and a call-to-arms, of sorts, to alleviate that situation. And let me say, their concerns are not unfounded. In just a few weeks, President of the United States Donald Trump and the conservatives in Congress have already set back victories achieved by liberal-to-moderate factions within our society during the term of Trump’s predecessor, Barrack Obama.

And more may be on the way …
[Read more →]

animalsBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Top ten dog songs

10. Fly Like a Beagle

9. Canine to Five

8. Hello, Collie!

7. MacArthur Bark

6. What If Dog Was One of Us

5. Hit Me With Your Vet Shot

4. When I Think About You I Lick Myself

3. I Like Big Mutts and I Cannot Lie

2. I Got 99 Problems but a Bitch Is One

1. Blinded by the Light (Wrapped Up Like a Pooch)
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingends & odd

Top ten riddles

10. What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pit bull.

9. What are the three most terrifying words a woman can say?
“Notice anything different?”

8. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints.

7. Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.

6. What does a man with two right feet wear to the beach?
Flop-flops.

5. Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the ‘p’ is silent.

4. How does a pessimist count his blessings?
“Ten…Nine…Eight…Seven…Six…”

3. What is ET short for?
Because he’s got them tiny little legs.

2. What do the films Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
“Icy dead people.”

1. Why does Donald Trump sleep with a tub of hummus?
Because there’s nothing he LOVES MORE than when he has a chickpea in his bed.
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.