10. “If the smoke from the grill gets to be too much, just crack a window.”

9. “Oh, before you eat that potato salad, would you mind signing this waiver?”

8. “Yes, I’m a Jehovah’s Witness! I’m glad you asked!”

7. “Why do all the burgers have long, thin tails?”

6. “Zip up, Uncle Jesse; that’s not how we put out a barbecue!”

5. “These GMO burgers actually glow in the dark!”

4. “Is coleslaw supposed to move?”

3. “Why does my hotdog have a fingernail?”

2. “The grill’s rusted through. Better light the tire.”

1. “Who put mayo on top of all the buns? Oh, wait…. Who moved the picnic table under the tree?”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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The economy is doing really, really well. The signs are all around. The job market is so good that even ROBOTS are getting hired. Young adults are choosing to spend quality time with their parents rather than moving into their own homes. Inflation is so low that you can get a new iPad for about the same price as the previous iPad. Don’t listen to the doom-and-gloom: in this incredible economic climate people are making money hand over fist. To set the record straight and advance the true narrative I’ve written this hard-hitting, unflinching look at some of the most impressive new businesses that are taking advantage of the modern economic recovery.

SURPRISE! DINNER: Food delivery services are all the rage—even for the budget-conscious. That’s where Surprise! Dinner comes in. Their network of reasonably-compensated employees rummage through the leftovers of the customers of Fresh Direct, Peapod, Magic Kitchen, Hello Fresh, Farm Fresh To You, and more—and then deliver the findings to you! Customers get tasty, surprising, and gently used food items (some of it was even organic at one time). And for those on an extra tight budget, check out Surprise! Dinner Basics, which rummages the refuse of Surprise! Dinner clients, and brings customers the results at a further discount!   [Read more →]

Tags: ends & odd, money, politics & government by Ricky Sprague
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10. He advises the females in the auditorium to take Home Economics ’cause “nummers is hard!”

9. His claim to fame: he’s the surviving member of Milli Vanilli

8. Her speech is 90 minutes of “Knock Knock” jokes

7. He’s a Goldman Sachs V.P. who claims he can triple your graduation gift money in three months

6. She goes off on a rant about “the great left-wing liberal socialist conspiracy”

5. After applying lipstick to the edges of his thumb and index finger, he lets the entire speech be delivered by ‘Mr. Hand’

4. He’s Obama, just not the Obama

3. He once gave a four-hour TED talk, about Ted Danson

2. He’s wearing his cap, but forgot his gown

1. First name ‘Donald’, last name ‘Trump’
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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10. Moon Over Gitmo

9. Give ’Em Enough Grope

8. Hide Your Flask and Dance!

7. Memories To Last An Evening

6. It’s All Downhill From Here

5. How to Fake an I.D.

4. 100 Seniors Standing Around a Ballroom Texting

3. Fifty Shades of Bunting

2. Abstinence Makes the Fond Grow Harder

1. The Republican National Convention
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Mon-day.

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10. The Dogfather

9. Raiders of the Lost Shark

8. From Deer to Eternity

7. Deep Goat

6. The Manatee from U.N.C.L.E.

5. Not Without My Otter

4. The Karate Squid

3. Pig Trouble In Little China

2. The Bad News Grizzlies

1. Ferret Bueller’s Day Off
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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10. “Today is Mother’s Day?!”

9. “What do you mean, ‘What is it?’ – It’s a nose hair trimmer!”

8. “Uncle Dad knows about us!”

7. “I’m taking you out to dinner, but we have to hurry; this coupon is only good until six.”

6. “Great news! We’re placing you in a home!”

5. “Here are all the ingredients for a great Mother’s Day dinner. All you have to do is cook it!”

4. “‘Love’ is too strong a word, but I certainly don’t loathe you!”

3. “Of course these flowers aren’t stolen from a funeral home. That banner just means, when you go to bed tonight, I hope you rest peacefully.”

2. “Here’s your gift, Mom: it’s a DVD of Oedipus Rex –- you sexy thing you!”

1. “I don’t know how to break this to you. You think you’re my birth mother, but I was actually adopted.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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