7 unanswerable questions Bill Cosby made me contemplate
How much does Cosby biographer Mark Whitaker suck? I can understand not wanting to dwell on the allegations of abuse so much it became the focus of Cosby: His Life and Times…but wasn’t there some room for them in its 500-plus pages? (It includes a 19-page chapter called “The Art of Jell-O.”) Why do I feel like if Whitaker wrote a book about Ted Bundy it would focus on Ted’s academic performance at law school?
How many accusations does it take before we agree to waive the usual innocent-until-proven-guilty policy? In general, I believe the media taking every allegation against a public (or non-public) figure and immediately running with it violates the spirit of the American justice system. But when you have people publicly willing to make their allegations…and they’re all telling basically the same story…and it can be established they definitely had contact with the accused…the 20th time it happens, my mind’s pretty much made up. Indeed, the only question is the exact number of seemingly credible accusations it takes before I make the leap of judgment. (By the time we hit double digits, that train’s speeding down the tracks.)
What the hell is the appeal of an unconscious sexual partner? At the risk of bragging, I’ve had sex with a lady. (Really!) Maybe it’s just my particular fetish, but I find it a turn-on when my partner reacts. I personally find it enjoyable when my partner also seems to be enjoying herself; I have read that some people find it a delight when their partner seems disgusted by them or terrified by them or whatever emotion their particular kink requires. But someone recounting an encounter by saying, “First she was severely disoriented. Then she passed out completely. It was so hot” just doesn’t resonate on any frequency I understand. (And yes, I know, it’s all about power and control, but they’re totally unresponsive: at that point why does the other person need to be there at all?)
How do you gracefully work money into a discussion of justice? I support the alleged victims suing Bill Cosby: if he’s guilty, the only penalties he can pay at this point are financial. That said, I still felt lawyer Gloria Allred could have found a more graceful transition from asking Cosby to waive the statue of limitations so the alleged victims could receive their fair day in court (and if they were lying, Cosby could find vindication)…to suddenly demanding $100 million. Again, no clue how to do it, but there must be a better segue.
Why do we insist on blurring characters and the people who perform them? Christoph Waltz played a “Jew Hunter” in Inglourious Basterds: if he were convicted of stalking a Jewish woman, would we say, “We should have seen that coming”? Whatever Bill Cosby may or may not have done, let’s leave Cliff Huxtable out of it.
How is R. Kelly still releasing Top 5 albums? This is the man who married Aalilyah when he was 28 and she was 15. He liked being with an underage woman so much he felt the need to have a legal record of it. What, we’re just ignoring this?
When did America become a land where there can only be justice if Hannibal Buress tells some killer jokes first?
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In the worst transition ever, should you happen to be in NYC this December, I’ve been fortunate enough to do a new musical called Here’s Hoover!: The Historic Herbert Hoover 2014 Comeback Special with director Alex Timbers and composer Michael Friedman and a ridiculously talented team of award-winning Broadway theater folk. (I am decidedly the Ringo to their rest of the Beatles. Hell, I might be the Pete Best.) With a top ticket price of $18 and a runtime of just 80 minutes, even if you don’t enjoy it, at least you’ll still have most of the evening and a wallet full of money.
Get tickets by clicking on the graphic below and this is what the New Yorker said about it: yes, they did throw around the word “genius.” (Yep, freaked me out too.)
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